Status Updates From The Importance of Being Ear...

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing. Which do you know?

ALGERNON.
[Picking up empty plate in horror.] Good heavens! Lane! Why are there no cucumber sandwiches? I ordered them specially.

LANE.
[Gravely.] There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, sir. I went down twice.

ALGERNON.
No cucumbers!

(he ate them all)

This reminds me of how my dad would play piano: "I don’t play accurately—any one can play accurately—but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte."