Status Updates From Inconceivable

“Not that he was much of a stud today. Frankly, I’ve seen harder knobs on the door of a bouncy castle.. used all of my womanly wiles, even ‘going down’ on him as they say, something I’ve never been big on. Well, I’m just not very good at it, I never really know what to do. I mean you put it in your mouth and then what? Chew? You are certainly aren’t supposed to blow, despite the name of the exercise.”

“When is the optimum ovulation moment? Some girls say they can feel it when they ovulate, that their bodies send them little messages, but I can’t say mine ever does. All my insides ever tell me is, ‘I’m Hungry’ and How about another gin and tonic?’”