Status Updates From The Broom of the System

my wife deflated and shot whizzed and clanked around the room like a balloon! shakespearean iambic pentameter

"To the strains of the latter my wife left, the establishment, me, on the arm of a svelte yogurt distributor whom I am even now planning to crush, financially speaking, first thing tomorrow morning. Ms. Beadsman, you will find an eclair on the floor to the left of your chair. Could you perhaps manipulate it onto this plate with minimal chocolate loss and pass it to me."