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Stepping Out of an Old Role Self:
When we take an observational stance we can also see how we get stuck in a role-self or healing fantasy; then we can try & do things differently. Be cautious about unexpected openness from your parents when you take a mature detached stance. Your child self may wish to get closer and hope for fulfillment, but this will trigger their fear of emotional closeness & they will pull back.

The Maturity Awareness Approach:
It helps to try to relate to the parent or EI person in a neutral way, rather than trying to have a relationship. First assess their level of maturity and approach interactions from an observational perspective.
Then these 3 steps:
1. Express yourself and then let it go
2. Focus on the outcome rather than the relationship
3. Manage the interaction rather than engage emotionally

This book had already helped me understand my feelings towards my parents and forgive myself all the emotional pain I experienced but didn’t understand.