Status Updates From Blart: The Boy Who Was Want...

Okay, the fact that I can't log page numbers on this book bc the records don't have any says a lot about the cultural impact and literary status of Blart 2 (he's wanted dead or alive, or both, you know)

I cannot wait to be done with this so I can talk about Blart 2, I feel like I'm losing my mind in this damn book, all I can think about is Blob the Pig Boy and the village of Screeb

Okay so one of the characters constantly has a massive hunk of lard on their person and I have no idea why??????

The story is hurtling along at a frightening pace and our heroes just cant catch a break! All very silly but an interesting theoretical development as we enter some kind of socialist commune. Thankfully for me, any knowledge of the events of Blart 1 are no longer needed since, and I quote, 'the wizard had made a large mistake in his research which entirely invalidated the previous quest'. Still know little of Blart.

The tale has begun! Theres a silly wizard, a sneaky dude and of course our friend Blart, if he is our friend. The Duke's men are hot on their tale for some reason and ngl I'm hooked. Already theres been a gag about milk and loads of pigs, just one of the 'hilarious situations' which Kraze Club Magazine warned me about on the blurb! Absolutely zero women characters so far

RIGHT so when I was 7 someone bought me this book. I'd never heard of Blart. Never read Blart 1. But for some reason I kept the book because Blart 2 was a funny thing to look at when i walked past my bookcase every morning. But now I'm done playing around. It's been 14 years and I'm ready. I have zero context for what happened in Blart 1, but by God I'm ready for Blart 2.