Elisa > Recent Status Updates

"The circumstances of my life, solitary and quiet since my childhood, [...] have made my mind an endless stream of daydreams. Everything I am comes down to this"

"Seeing myself from the outside (as I almost always do), I'm unfit for action, flustered when I have to take a step or make a move, tongue-tied when I have to talk to someone [...]. It's only natural that I'm this way. A dreamer is expected to be this way."

"Why try to be like others if you're condemned to being yourself? Why laugh if, when you laugh, even your genuine happiness is false, since it is born of forgetting who you are?" WOAH

last night i finally finished the first (and main) section of the book, "A Factless Autobiography", spanning almost 400 pages. it made me think about the passages i read on the train in my first year of university, and about how, after years, i recently picked it up again on a whim. although it's taking me a while to get through, i'm really glad i'm taking it slow because now i have fond memories attached to the book

honestly i think is going to become one of my favorite books, 1) because of Pessoa's gorgeous writing style, 2) because i can relate to Bernando Soares's feelings/impressions a lot and 3) because i just find it all really interesting to grapple with, both from a literary and "philosophical" standpoint (i underlined and tabbed so much !!)

"Seguitai a salire e vidi il portico, il tronco del fico, un rastrello appoggiato all'uscio — la stessa corda col nodo pendeva dal foro dell'uscio. La stessa macchia di verderame intorno alla spalliera sul muro. La stessa pianta di rosmarino sull'angolo della casa. E l'odore, l'odore della casa, della riva, di mele marce, d'erba secca e di rosmarino."

"Il salto dal prato alla strada era come una volta — erba morta sotto il mucchio delle fascine, un cesto rotto, delle mele marce e schiacciate." il modo in cui racconta la campagna/collina Pavese... senza parole

happy pride month <3

bellissimo ! lo sto leggendo a salti perché evidentemente sono incapace di leggere meno di 3-4 libri alla volta ma veramente, l'atmosfera di questo romanzo è affascinante

"I finish nothing, because I have no time and there's so much pressure in me. If the whole day were free and this morning restlessness could rise in me by noon and tire itself out by evening then I could sleep. As it is, however, there remains for this restlessness only a twilight hour at most, it grows somewhat stronger, is then suppressed and uselessly and harmfully digs up the night for me." so relatable

finalmente posso riprendere la lettura di questo romanzo che, noto con gioia, crea sempre una bellissima atmosfera: "Il caffè s’era riempito di gente e di fumo; c’era una tavolata di rifugiati tedeschi che seguiva attentamente una partita di scacchi; al tavolo accanto una specie di pazza, che si credeva una prostituta, sola davanti a un caffelatte, faceva la vezzosa con un interlocutore invisibile."

i dialoghi in questo libro sono elettrizzanti

"At last I have the word ‘stigmatize’ and the sentence that goes with it, but still hold everything in my mouth with a feeling of disgust and shame as if it were raw meat, cut out of my own flesh (so much effort has it cost me)"

“The boy's skin was torn apart by the heavy rain of blades. With each passing second, the sharp blades would hack at his body, ripping off more skin and flesh, causing thick blood to spatter everywhere". “His bones began to show through his mutilated body [...] It was as though the sharp blades were intentionally avoiding striking any vital areas, as if they were slowly torturing him. Slowly peeling him alive". DAMN

devo dire che, superata la "diffidenza" iniziale, questo libro mi ha proprio catturato: ho letto più di 60 pagine solo oggi, cosa che non accade spesso !

contro la mia volontà purtroppo devo ufficialmente metterlo in pausa per concentrarmi sull'università

montale, a noi due ! finalmente

"The little girl's body had been ruined into a grotesque mess. Torn patches of clothing were entangled with splattered flesh and limb, dully glistening with the thick blood that once trickled from the exposed organs and bone that remained of her body, leaving the entire floor smeared in residues of foul human tissue and skin." DAMN i didn't know the horror in this book went this hard

just found out that the library in the city i'm moving to for my master's has a "bibliography of narrative texts on homosexual themes" and a "lesbian existence in society, imagination, and literature" bibliography on their website... something tells me i'm going to add loads of books to my tbr today