angry axolotl > Recent Status Updates

Evander thinks for a moment of what it would be to unbutton that shirt and fit both his hands around Laurie’s bare ribs, to squeeze and squeeze until he felt the give of bone, the collapse of lungs, Laurie’s soft mouth shaped into a whimper. That would wipe the insufferable smirk off his face.

Why can't the gays ever be normal about this xD

“Yes, I have sowed my wild oats,” Hawley said.

Great. Now I'm thinking of two pigs arguing. (Look up Brother, May I Have Some Oats if that doesn't make sense. Curse me later.) I'm calling the exorcist.

“Well, well, well, dirty birdy boys flapping and fapping in the potty.”

I'm just gonna leave that here.

Well, it's the 15th in Japan now xD

I just got reminded of a 'creepy' short story called 'Die schwarze Rose' (The Black Rose) that made its rounds on the internet over a decade ago. I can't find it in English, so perhaps it was originally written in German?
I used to scour the forums for stuff like that and tried to scare myself shitless at night. Looks like I've officially fallen into a rabbit hole now, there are so many of these shitty stories xD

Yep, this is definitely an Ariana Nash book xD

“Valentine?” he said the moment I’d turned again. I looked back as he reached under the counter and withdrew the pistol, then crossed the shop floor and held it out.

This is. Literally the cutest thing I've read in months. There must be something wrong with me xD

Well now, this is really quite explicit xD

“The little one’s three already,” Ruan Nanzhu lied through his teeth. “And the oldest’s in middle school.” A kind, motherly smile appeared on his face. “For them, I can do anything.”

Says the man who's cross-dressing. The fuck? xD

“Oh he’s not my husband.” With a bat of the eyes, Ruan Nanzhu tacked even more pages onto his own script. “He’s my sidepiece.”

He's getting a kick out of this, isn't he.

So excited for this next arc- Hako Onna sounds like so much fun!! But too bad you need at least 4 players for it, haha...

At least I won't have to listen to kids screaming while I'm on the train.

But damn, Jon's gotten pretty paranoid xD

Dark academia vibes in my Chinese danmei?
More likely than you think, apparently.

On chapter 91 now- what is it with all these heads rolling around?

Here's a scene (paraphrased) from chapter 75:

*head falls from the ceiling*
Lin Qiushi, soaked in the blood of the human head suddenly rolling around next to him, unfazed: What do I do?
Ruan Nanzhu, completely used to shit like that happening: Throw it out.
Lin Qiushi: But I don't want to touch it.
Ruan Nanzhu: Then let's kick it out.

I'm at it again (been reading this on and off for the last 6 years or so). I'm already halfway through now, so I'm probably around volume 4 of the licensed release?

Anyway. Didn't expect to see a guy getting c-sectioned by the nightmare baby he was 'giving birth' to.

Holy fuck, this book is stressing me out so bad.

I'm really loving this so far, but I think I'm gonna put it on hold for now and wait until my physical copy arrives. My phone is such a goddamn distraction right now, it's not even funny.

“She needs to bathe to prevent infection. I know she is our enemy, but I volunteered to be present, to protect her modesty.”

Keep telling yourself that.

I feel like Shane trying to connect the dots. I don't think I've connected shit, though.

"The ritual is a promise to our Lord—that, like His faithful siblings, He may devour His congregation should the need arise."

So the author took Catholicism and dialed the whatthefuckery up to 1000. Love that!!
...but how did Ophelia think she could pray the gay away when she's horny, like, half the time? xD