Swaye > Recent Status Updates

When you know, you know.

"If I lived another hundred years, there still wouldn’t be enough time to tell her how I felt."

"Besides, you are romantic, in your odd little Virgo way." 😂🥰

"It wasn’t in her nature to be obtuse about her feelings. She didn’t lie, and she didn’t see the need to hide how she felt. Morgan strongly believed time was precious and any moment spent obscuring the truth was time wasted."

“You like them dark-haired, you like them older than you, and you like them a little bit mean.”

"Intimidating is a word men use for intelligent women who don’t take shit."

“What is a ‘sappy bottom’?”

🤣🤣🤣

"A boundary is something you set for yourself, not for the other person. You’re deciding what you will do, not what the other person will do. Instead of “Don’t talk to me that way,” a boundary could sound like “I will finish this conversation with you when you aren’t raising your voice” or “If you raise your voice while we’re having this conversation, I’m going to leave the room.”"

"We can’t be compassionate to others if we’re not also being compassionate to ourselves. We’re not being compassionate if we’re abandoning ourselves in the process."

I highly recommend reading this and Let Them one after the other because they really complement each other so well. Both books have given me some of the most important tools of my life.

"When we can practice tolerating the discomfort of our emotions and remembering that external events are not reflections of our worth, lovability, or inherent goodness, conflict becomes less scary."

“You’re better than you think you are, Natalya. Much better. Even though you have a tendency to be annoyingly overprotective.”
“I would promise to not be anymore, but I don’t think it’s one I can keep.”

"Ask yourself: Do I like and respect the person I’m receiving feedback from? Does their opinion genuinely matter to me, or am I internalizing their perception of me from a place of fear? Does this person embody an energy that I admire and want to embody myself?"

"It’s an act of rebellion against the system when you become embodied—in harmony with your body, nurturing it and accepting it in all its seasons, cycles, and fluctuations—because that means you don’t need to be smaller, younger, or different to have value. It means you have value right now, as you are."

"For most of my life, I was a floating head loosely attached to a body, disconnected from the messages, sensations, and wisdom that existed below my neck. I lived in my mind, and racing thoughts were my resting place. It wasn’t until I started to realize what was happening in this home that I had neglected that I began to see how it had been trying to talk to me all along."

The NICER Technique: Notice, Invite, Curiosity, Embrace, and Return

"It’s time for you to start trusting your future self to carry you through difficult situations—your future self has always gotten you through before."

"Fixating on the worst-case scenario repeatedly doesn’t make that scenario any easier if it even happens; it just adds more suffering."

"I’m worthy of being loved exactly as I am, including my messy parts."

"The goal of this work isn’t to silence the anxious voice—trying to silence it only makes it louder—but to start becoming aware of it, attaching to it less, and soothing it. The most important aspect of your healing is your own awareness. It’s realizing that you aren’t the voice inside your mind; you’re the one who notices it."

"Anger is an emotion that has been swallowed again and again, for years and years. It’s an emotion that is often followed by shame, which only suppresses the anger more. You’re allowed to be hurt and angry. Your anger makes sense and it deserves to be acknowledged. You’re not bad for feeling angry."

"Thank you, past self, for protecting me for so long. I am safe now."

"Fawning, at its core, is what we learn to do to avoid being abandoned or rejected and to maximize feelings of love and safety. The irony is that, in an unconscious attempt to avoid abandonment, we end up abandoning ourselves."

"We can slowly learn to develop secure attachments in relationships, even if we didn’t witness them growing up. When relationships fluctuate, body language shifts, or life throws stressors at you, you have a place of inner stability to return to and to reconnect with yourself, your needs, your body, and your emotions."

"Conflict is inevitable, but a crucial component of conflict is the repair that follows it."

"Hypervigilance carries over into emotional monitoring, which means we’re constantly scanning other people’s emotional states to gauge what they may be feeling so that we can adapt."

And it is EXHAUSTING.

"With fawning, we have to abandon ourselves in order to make the appeasing possible. We learn that the other person’s comfort is more important than our own, that we can’t feel okay until the other person is okay. We learn that, in order for us to feel safe, we need to keep the peace, whatever it takes."

"Fawning isn’t a conscious choice; it’s a survival mechanism. The child “learns to fawn [their] way into the relative safety of becoming helpful.” All these stress responses are useful, adaptive, and necessary—but we’re supposed to be in them for only a few minutes or hours at a time, not for years on end. Yet for so many, a chronic fawn response is as natural as breathing."

"Healing is an imperfect, lifelong practice of realizing that we were never “broken” to begin with. It’s a dance of forgetting wisdom and remembering it, again and again."

“Hey, you are not in trouble; you’re okay. They aren’t secretly mad at you. Your mind is lying to you because it’s scared. I know you may have this fear that you’re secretly a bad person and it’s just a matter of time before everyone finds out, but you’re actually safe.”