Swaye’s Reviews > Are You Mad at Me? > Status Update

"A boundary is something you set for yourself, not for the other person. You’re deciding what you will do, not what the other person will do. Instead of “Don’t talk to me that way,” a boundary could sound like “I will finish this conversation with you when you aren’t raising your voice” or “If you raise your voice while we’re having this conversation, I’m going to leave the room.”"

"We can’t be compassionate to others if we’re not also being compassionate to ourselves. We’re not being compassionate if we’re abandoning ourselves in the process."

I highly recommend reading this and Let Them one after the other because they really complement each other so well. Both books have given me some of the most important tools of my life.

"When we can practice tolerating the discomfort of our emotions and remembering that external events are not reflections of our worth, lovability, or inherent goodness, conflict becomes less scary."

"Ask yourself: Do I like and respect the person I’m receiving feedback from? Does their opinion genuinely matter to me, or am I internalizing their perception of me from a place of fear? Does this person embody an energy that I admire and want to embody myself?"

"It’s an act of rebellion against the system when you become embodied—in harmony with your body, nurturing it and accepting it in all its seasons, cycles, and fluctuations—because that means you don’t need to be smaller, younger, or different to have value. It means you have value right now, as you are."

"For most of my life, I was a floating head loosely attached to a body, disconnected from the messages, sensations, and wisdom that existed below my neck. I lived in my mind, and racing thoughts were my resting place. It wasn’t until I started to realize what was happening in this home that I had neglected that I began to see how it had been trying to talk to me all along."

The NICER Technique: Notice, Invite, Curiosity, Embrace, and Return

"It’s time for you to start trusting your future self to carry you through difficult situations—your future self has always gotten you through before."

"I’m worthy of being loved exactly as I am, including my messy parts."