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| As for the Fool [...] acclaimed as a hero and a great warrior. I am sure that is why he fled. No one is quite sure where the Fool went or what became of him. Perhaps, somewhere there is a toymaker who makes puppets that are a delight and a marvel. I hope he wears an earring of silver and blue. The fingerprints he left on my wrist have faded to a dusky grey.
I think I will always miss him. |

it's fine, i'm fine

| From Nighteyes. 'Oh. Are you all right?'
'FitzChivalry. Are you all right?' There was concern in Verity's voice. But it could not completely mask the triumph there as well.
'Of course not,' I told them both. 'Of course not.' I walked away. |

Just. . . fuck. Fuck. Fitz's body has never once actually belonged to Fitz. It is just a thing to be used as the throne sees fit, no matter what it costs him. Fuck.

|'What are you carving?’
‘Charging bucks,’ Amber replied diffidently. She sheathed her tools abruptly.|

Sometimes I catch myself wondering if Fitz truly deserves this kind of devotion from Beloved. But dual rereading this with the main series... Fitz has his problems, god knows there are times where anyone else would've walked away, but the truth is that Fitz loves Beloved just as much as Beloved loves him.

Somehow within the two years since I last read this book, I forgot how realistic it is and how many bad memories it brings up, the way everyone refuses to believe Althea that Kennit brutally raped her; not even the being who knows her to her bones, not her close friend who is also a woman, not her nephew - only Kennit's "partner" believes her, and even then Etta fucking /attacks/ Althea rather than killing Kennit.

'Weaker? I think not.' Nighteyes considered. 'Not weaker, my brother. But different. Fashioned more like a Wit-bond than a Skill-joining.'
He looked up at the Fool. After a time, the Fool frowned to himself and looked down at Nighteyes.
'You see,' said the wolf. 'He senses me. Not clearly, but he does. Hello, Fool. My ears itch.'
Outside the tent, the Fool reached down to scratch the wolf's ears.

THIS IS PACK BITCH

| I sought for him, I almost found him. Oh, he was passing strange, and surpassing strange. [...] like the motes that dance before one's eyes after being dazzled by the sun. As well to clutch at the moon's reflection in a still midnight pond as to seek a grip on that bright mind. I knew his beauty and his power [...] I understood and marveled at all that he was. |

What if I just started crying and never stopped?

Oh, okay, so knowing what's about to happen does not lessen the dread at all - cool.👌I think it's even worse on the reread than it was the first time I'd read it; Paragon and Kennit's reunion, Amber in the hull begging Paragon to let her live, she can't die yet, not here, Althea, Malta, and Wintrow all being so close but not able to see each other, the horror Althea is about to have inflicted on her... fuck.

| I lifted her hand and softly kissed the fingers that had been broken on my account. 'I do not confuse what was done to you with who you are,' I offered. 'When I look at you, I see Starling Birdsong the minstrel.' |

Moments like this, I am so overwhelmingly grateful that Fitz was written by a woman that I could cry. A man's fantasy hero would never treat a friend like this, would never be so openly gentle.

It makes me so fucking sad and sick to my stomach that Paragon automatically equates consensual sex to pain and terror and blood and shame. Fuck you, Igrot, for taking two young boys' innocence and forever changing the way they view sex, even decades on. It is not at all an excuse for Kennit raping Althea later in this series, because he deserves to die for that just as much as Igrot, but - fuck, this shit sucks.

Be it Fitz in Kelsingra or Malta in Frengong, the scenes in which they're walking through the ruins of a fallen Elderling city will always be some of my favorite to read. Having them alone in a cold, empty, lifeless city while the ghosts of its past memories and inhabitants go about their their daily lives, being forced to bare witness to its fall and the Elderlings' demise. . . So haunting and beautiful.

I will never be over Reyn being on his knees before Malta, begging and sobbing. Exactly where men belong. 🥰❤️

| I wondered if he left behind more than I knew. |

The last time Fitz can claim true innocence over Beloved's sexuality before it's quite literally: "How was I meant to know he's in love with me? We've only kissed three times & we've shared moments that I myself describe as more intimate than & going far beyond sex. He's the only person in the world who truly knows me. Also, he's breathtakingly beautiful." Sir...

It's hilarious and heartwarming how Amber can be doing the most mundane of tasks - like just tying knots right now - and thousands of us are fawning at her fucking feet.

"You can have me," I told him quietly. "[...] You can have my death, if that is what it takes. More than that, you can have my life, Chade. But not my child's. Not my daughter's."

Oh, I'm sick, I'm so fucking sick to my stomach. 😭 Rereading this series might actually hurt worse than how badly it did on my first read - and, jesus christ, is that saying something. 🫠💔

"He could protect this boy as he had not been protected himself. He had the power to stave off the destructive forces that had once torn his own life apart."

Honestly, this just makes me so sad. Hobb creates fantastic, multifaceted characters, but her treatment of people - specifically men - who are victims of rape and CSA leaves a lot to be desired. Why did Kennit's care for Wintrow suddenly need to pivot to lust?

imagine being 14 years old, forced to go to the priesthood and then brought back against your will when you finally found a home there, sold into slavery by your own father and then kidnapped by a pirate, already had to cut off your own crushed finger and then having to cut off said pirate's decaying and rotten leg. . . ah, wintrow, my sweet boy. 🥲

There's something to be said about how during this reread, I'm still having so much fun (and am in so much misery) with all of the character development and the reveals and first meetings, even knowing what it all leads to. Kennit is, hands down, one of Hobb's best villains of the entire series and, despite all that he does and how vile he is by the end, I adore his character so much. Also: Wintrow, my baby. <3

Any cuteness between Althea and Brashen earlier in the series is ruined by the fact of how it plays out; one of the first things we learn about Althea is that she refuses to be tied to a man and a child and will not compromise and be a co-captain aboard her own ship. . . And then she's co-captaining Paragon with Brashen and they've got a son. 🤢💔 There's no way in hell the dick is that good.

Such a lovely detail that so many characters describe animals as too dumb to know that they're being sent to the slaughter. . . and then there's Fitz who can barely handle being near a pin of pigs because of their fear and despair and ends up stabbing a man to death with at least 6 gut wounds in broad daylight in front of his young daughter and his older daughter's husband. My lovely little bloodthirsty man. <3

AMBERRRRR MY QUEEN MY NONBINARY BAD BITCH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

It should probably be studied the way I cannot ever be normal about the Fool / Amber / Beloved. 🥰💕 My babyyyy.

Every day I am thankful for how fantastic of a villain Kennit is - and how wonderfully Hobb writes characters. I think Kennit is a great example of "there's a reason, but it is not an excuse." So much of his and Fitz's (and Beloved's) story line up, but due to his Forging through Paragon, in the hope of protection, love, & comfort, combined with the hell he went through, he has none of Fitz's and Beloved's humanity.

Listening to the audiobook & it's never been more apparent just how young Wintrow is. It was already heartbreaking, but hearing his naïvety so clearly. . . Truly his story is just: hey, it's bad! But don't worry, it's only going to get worse from here! Your dad's gonna sell you as a slave, you're going to have to chop off your own finger, you're going to have to sever the leg of the man who's grooming you, etc. etc.

harrow, my baby girl, i missed her so fucking muchhhh. 😭💜


Harrow said, "But you're God."
And God said, "And I am not enough."


Will I ever be over that quote? Will I ever be healed from Harrow's desperate and confused devotion and love? Will I ever stop wanting to curbstomp John for all that he put her and Gideon and Inathe and all the Houses through? (The answer to all is: no.)

Grady Hendrix is such a hit-or-miss (more miss-than-hit) author for me; I'm pleasantly surprised that I am enjoying this one so far.

dude, i just love bree <3

"Someone made a wish," she says, "and you're its answer."

OKAY