AJ’s Reviews > Assassin's Quest > Status Update

| As for the Fool [...] acclaimed as a hero and a great warrior. I am sure that is why he fled. No one is quite sure where the Fool went or what became of him. Perhaps, somewhere there is a toymaker who makes puppets that are a delight and a marvel. I hope he wears an earring of silver and blue. The fingerprints he left on my wrist have faded to a dusky grey.
I think I will always miss him. |

it's fine, i'm fine

| From Nighteyes. 'Oh. Are you all right?'
'FitzChivalry. Are you all right?' There was concern in Verity's voice. But it could not completely mask the triumph there as well.
'Of course not,' I told them both. 'Of course not.' I walked away. |

Just. . . fuck. Fuck. Fitz's body has never once actually belonged to Fitz. It is just a thing to be used as the throne sees fit, no matter what it costs him. Fuck.

| I sought for him, I almost found him. Oh, he was passing strange, and surpassing strange. [...] like the motes that dance before one's eyes after being dazzled by the sun. As well to clutch at the moon's reflection in a still midnight pond as to seek a grip on that bright mind. I knew his beauty and his power [...] I understood and marveled at all that he was. |

What if I just started crying and never stopped?

| I lifted her hand and softly kissed the fingers that had been broken on my account. 'I do not confuse what was done to you with who you are,' I offered. 'When I look at you, I see Starling Birdsong the minstrel.' |

Moments like this, I am so overwhelmingly grateful that Fitz was written by a woman that I could cry. A man's fantasy hero would never treat a friend like this, would never be so openly gentle.

Be it Fitz in Kelsingra or Malta in Frengong, the scenes in which they're walking through the ruins of a fallen Elderling city will always be some of my favorite to read. Having them alone in a cold, empty, lifeless city while the ghosts of its past memories and inhabitants go about their their daily lives, being forced to bare witness to its fall and the Elderlings' demise. . . So haunting and beautiful.

| I wondered if he left behind more than I knew. |

The last time Fitz can claim true innocence over Beloved's sexuality before it's quite literally: "How was I meant to know he's in love with me? We've only kissed three times & we've shared moments that I myself describe as more intimate than & going far beyond sex. He's the only person in the world who truly knows me. Also, he's breathtakingly beautiful." Sir...

"You can have me," I told him quietly. "[...] You can have my death, if that is what it takes. More than that, you can have my life, Chade. But not my child's. Not my daughter's."

Oh, I'm sick, I'm so fucking sick to my stomach. 😭 Rereading this series might actually hurt worse than how badly it did on my first read - and, jesus christ, is that saying something. 🫠💔

“For here, for now, just between us two, for no other reason save I am me & you are you, I tell you this: I am glad, glad that you are alive. To see you take breath puts the breath back in my lungs. If there must be another my fate is twined around, I am glad it is you.”

READING THIS THE FIRST TIME AROUND MADE ME INSANE. ON A REREAD 2 YEARS LATER AFTER I KNOW HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP & STORY ENDS? I NEED SEDATED!