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loving ms. kingfisher's desertcore era

YEAHHH JUICE BOX ALL MY HOMIES LOVE JUICE BOX

me last book: huh, I wonder if maybe Katia will [redacted spoiler]? nahhh that'd be way too crazy. this book: [rihanna wink.gif]

the SECOND I heard katia's team was in iceland I was like "ooooh I hope they get to fight a Yule Cat" and sure enough. give me 100 points and a gold star

finally some good fucking Mordecai Backstory

girl if he’s your man why is he a gemini

eva. eva babe I’m not mad just come sit with me for a second. who told you that mexicans are born in hammocks

extremely cool of the text to acknowledge that the issue was never the Love Triangle Hypotenuse’s shallowness or lack of appreciation for art, it was the hero projecting onto her and putting her on a pedestal

love when a character is described after a timeskip as like "there were lines at the corner of her eyes now" and it's like girl please she's 27

ah yes, the beautiful woman from his past who rejected him but wants him back now that he's a millionaire. rip eva I bet you loved Sk8er Boi by avril lavigne

URSULA SAID "WHELMED"

well that was very Green Knightcore

ohhhh so THIS is kinda where Name of the Wind owes its whole deal huh. well okay maybe just like half its deal

kATIA?? the CROWN?? second audible gasp of the book. and here I thought I'd already hit my Gasp Quota

haha yeah we don't need no stinkin 7th floor! mr. dinniman looked at his docket and was like fuck, why did I give the dungeon 18 levels I can’t write 11 more of these

was trying to think what my cat Minnie's version of the All Eyes on Me song would be and unfortunately the only song I regularly sing to her is one called "Cat Soup"

you just know “All Eyes on Me” by Princess Donut is this universe’s Golden by Huntr/x. immediate double platinum. I hope they’re paying her and Beatrice royalties

did not have "praying mantis incest" on my butcher's masquerade bingo

NOT THE SOAKING MENTION

so we're all in agreement that Kizzy is just a shameless Kaylee Frye expy right. like we didn't even bother changing her name that much

I know she's 6'5" trust fund blue eyes finance but WILL SOMEONE BE NICE TO KYR?? PLEASE?? ok I see you precocious child and little alien but the REST of you will taste these fists

not me laughing at an extremely inappropriate moment because the whole scene suddenly reminded me of the SNL ‘mm whatcha say’/dear sister sketch

love this specific kind of unreliable narrator. girl you're so sick in the headdd can't wait to see what this puta does next

smh girl how are you gonna become a world class scientist and not even recognize a quote from The Tempest? truly we are failing to teach our youth the humanities

EA-NASIR??

extremely funny that this book sets up book 2 to be like "nooooo don't marry your cousin you're so sexy aha"

if someone had told me all the dragons were autistic I would have read this YEARS ago

"[insert horror incident here] happened and I was SO HARD I COULDN'T SEE STRAIGHT" —this narrator every 5 paragraphs

fellas is it heterosexual to fuck your ship

the captain, literally sick with repressed gay want: you guys are getting HICKEYS?? 😫
his crew, who are getting drained by a vampire and now slutshamed: 🫠