G > Recent Status Updates

I know she's 6'5" trust fund blue eyes finance but WILL SOMEONE BE NICE TO KYR?? PLEASE?? ok I see you precocious child and little alien but the REST of you will taste these fists

not me laughing at an extremely inappropriate moment because the whole scene suddenly reminded me of the SNL ‘mm whatcha say’/dear sister sketch

love this specific kind of unreliable narrator. girl you're so sick in the headdd can't wait to see what this puta does next

smh girl how are you gonna become a world class scientist and not even recognize a quote from The Tempest? truly we are failing to teach our youth the humanities

EA-NASIR??

extremely funny that this book sets up book 2 to be like "nooooo don't marry your cousin you're so sexy aha"

if someone had told me all the dragons were autistic I would have read this YEARS ago

"[insert horror incident here] happened and I was SO HARD I COULDN'T SEE STRAIGHT" —this narrator every 5 paragraphs

fellas is it heterosexual to fuck your ship

the captain, literally sick with repressed gay want: you guys are getting HICKEYS?? 😫
his crew, who are getting drained by a vampire and now slutshamed: 🫠

did not realize this book was a) written in the 90s and b) translated from Spanish, and it's incredible how much those two things just made me sit up and pay attention. Like yeah sure "gay Dracula retelling" /sounds/ good, but I've been burned by those before. But NINETIES MEXICAN GAY DRACULA RETELLING?? Now we're cooking with gas. Like Dracula alone in his kitchen making dinner for Jonathan Harker

I was worried I'd find this confusing since I didn't do a book 1 reread. and like, yeah, I did a bit. but it's also so easy to slip back into the groove of this bomb af world and these fun characters. you can't go wrong with "soft butch lesbian legolas"

this book just used the phrase "put on her game face." her 1879 game face. in 1879. yeah idk if we're gonna make it through this one besties

I know flowery, deeply historically inaccurate names are part and parcel of the historical romance genre, but as a name nerd I can't help cringing hard at the idea of an 1870s English aristocracy sibset named Marigold, Freya, Angelica, and...Dani. Even if they were historically accurate, they're all over the place!! where's the COHESION

ily but Hayley sis these tenses are a hotttt mess

this book is the most gorgeous physical object I've held in a hot minute. the foil the endpapers the typeset. awoogah

not me getting 70 pages into this book and recalling it's by an Indian author/originally published in India and realizing that "[Mad] Magali" rhymes with PAGALI. because she's Mad!! get it??

worried my review will oversell exactly how skin-crawlingly disturbing this book is because sure I'm writhing wretchedly but I can't tell how much of that is Craft/the story vs how much is coming from my own personal hangups. like I once passed out in my GP's waiting room after thinking too hard about what a vaccine is, I am not to be trusted here

issuing a formal apology to caitling starling because unfortunately if your horror novel includes a scene where a character follows a sinister "pattern of dark stains" on a hospital floor I WILL immediately think of the Children's Hospital tumblr post and burst out laughing. take me to jail I've ruined the vibes

if I had any sense of self-preservation I'd DNF this for my own mental health. but unfortunately I'm me, so

determined to make it through this one but I can already tell it's gonna be a really tough read for me, a deeply squeamish person easily squicked by medical stuff including my OWN shitty chronic illnesses. but hey I got through The Death of Jane Lawrence so. we stay silly

oh ok so this guy is definitely the Beast in human form huh. got it

why do all these convents and monasteries have random implements of torture lying around

if you drink every time ms radcliffe uses the word "gloom" you will die harder than signora bianchi

uhhhh so is this gonna be "piranesi but with Whale" or

that last act. hoooooooooly shit

FUCK QUAN CH ALL MY HOMIES HATE QUAN CH

AND LOOTED THE CORPSE??? this book really is That Girl. most chekhov's guns per capita since the locked tomb

YEAHHH LET'S GOOO! talking Fancy Feast DOWN!! Love the way this book understands that Carl is not a special unique rebellious Main Character in a world of sheeple, but actually just the latest link in a long chain of resistance and regular people who worked toward a better future. sotr wishes