Ivy G. > Recent Status Updates

I like the choice of Hadrian’s legendary title bearing the weight of its sacrifice. That while he is the Halfmortal, bearing the title also means people outside looking in see him as the man who lost his entire fleet, a failure and someone to doubt despite his contributions. I like how his reputation is tarnished between good and evil, people can interpret it differently. I hate that Urbaine is back though.

The Dream of a Ridiculous Man is currently my favorite short story from Dostoyevsky. It spoke of a belief that is not by default of humanity. That everything terrible about humanity is learned and not their beginning. That’s what paradise is to the main protagonist and he wholeheartedly believes in it. It’s really beautiful and I have more thoughts reserved for it.

There’s new development about what the MINOS is up to and might be allied with the Cielcin about it. Developing a virus to create a plague and destroy populations. That’s a weapon of mass destruction that’s so different but at the same time it goes back to the history of the Mericanii. I like it but I think there’s far too many threats to the Empire. Where does the story even begin?

To be honest, the uncertainty of running away afterwards is so terrible. I guess that’s the point especially with how much Hadrian gave to fight. But the Quiet’s point is that he bears the burden and responsibility of achieving the shortest way. He can’t run even if he wants to. I actually like the narrative of the main protagonist doomed to fight to the end. It makes the stakes much higher.

I love his self-awareness of how “despicable” he is. His flaws are still human but I like that they are dialed up to the point of hysterics. Dostoyevsky somehow mastered creating those kinds of characters. Deprived, insane but intelligently self-aware.

He examined what a female escort has to sacrifice just to survive a life that isn’t worth living. It’s a common and heartbreaking reality to a lot of them and Liza is one of them and can only hold on to the memories of being loved as she continues to give the rest of herself. It’s a rude but very real way of saying it. Just the whole monologue is heartbreaking.

I’m surprised that amidst his extreme vanity in spiraling to get the upperhand on his former colleagues, he has quite a healthy outlook on love, marriage and parenthood that the supposedly normal people like his colleagues likely don’t have. It’s an interesting difference in perspective.

This is a good chapter! With so many answered questions. I like seeing the Emperor’s side, seeing that they already know and since Hadrian’s report aligns with them, they share this common goal. I like where the story is heading, where the goal isn’t to keep fighting the Cielcin and kill Syriani, but to kill the Watchers themselves. I’m excited for it! I like how it’s the Emperor uncovering all of this.

I’m beginning to understand that the protagonist is very self-aware of his own misery and how it affects others. But he isn’t aware how he sounds like calling himself the more superior being than the rest for it. From their perspective, they are not friendly with him like that to want to invite him over to dinner, he did it himself, despite hating all of them out of spite. He’s quite a villain.

He talked about his intense vanity and how he thought himself to be so hideous compared to everyone else because of his high standards that he overthought a whole encounter with an officer and even how he presented himself. It’s interesting, to say the least.

I do like the random fourth wall breaks where the author acknowledges he is living underground and the reason for why he’s writing these notes is our of respect for the written word and how freeing it can be. But also, the honesty of the fact that no one could be sincere with their autobiographies. Man would always lie and keep certain things from friends, from himself and deny certain truths.

This is a vent I don’t agree with. Because he may be right to say that some people may like the chase of achieving their goals more than the goal itself, life is based on experience after all. But he makes it seem like humans can’t find another goal once they achieved one. He acknowledges there can be multiple but doesn’t say that humans will never run out of the chase as long as they come up with new goals.

So, it’s basically just a rant on how a man will always be stubborn and rebel just to prove they have free will. They are going to exercise it in the most random and even dumber ways just to prove their individualities. This is something I can agree on at the very least. Man can’t be trained to be a calculated being to serve theit desires and reasons.

I find myself agreeing to some of his whims. He sounds insane almost the entire time but he has his moments of clarity that still applies today. It’s interesting how modern he views that men are still violent and bloodthirsty today, that there’s still war and genocide now the same way there was before. That man often doesn’t always act on their interests, sometimes on a whim, they could do the opposite.

This is just the typical Dostoyevsky venting session he accumulates sporadically in writing. He really puts you in a character who is completely lost and desperate and deprived and insane. It’s interesting to read about a man who thinks he’s incapable of changing for the better, that he accepts the desperation and deprivation with pleasure because they’re intelligent men.

I really like the response of the Kwen, Tiranish and Highmages to the truth being exposed. Because this whole story really is such an allegory to modern colonialism and imperialism. Except at least in fiction, people react to their anger than just stand by from desensitization.