Dee Montoya > Recent Status Updates

God Pauses and now asks me to stay.
This poem spoke to me in a tone I could recognize and feel familiar and cozy with. This poem spoke to me in a whisper I’ve been hearing and feeling during my entire life. I’ll read this one again and again, possibly forever.

From earliest childhood, my survival strategy was to always give the pleasing answer, never the truthful answer, because it felt safer to be pleasing than to be truthful.

I became for myself what I’ve tried to be for every important person in my life, my own best friend. My own cheerleader, my own listener, my mother, my sister, I became my own daughter.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”

“I love how our life together is one eternal conversation that we put on pause only to sleep.”

“Blessed are those brave enough to make things awkward, for they woke us up and move us forward.”

“We can’t stop asking what the world wants from us and instead ask ourselves what we want from our world. We can’t stop looking at what’s in front of us long enough to discover what’s inside us.”

“When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.”

“I love you, Baby Ruth.”

Sooooo good. CANT PUT IT DOWN. (1am)

I’m really enjoying this one. Reminds me of my life during the 2000’s I was obsessed with Nick and Jessica.

Loring Blackman, another famous musician who writes songs for other artists now. I got a kick out of meeting him because I’d listened to his music a lot in college. Loring and his wife, a jewelry designer, told me they lived in a brownstone three doors down from Cal in Brooklyn and were in town visiting one of Loring’s sons, who went to UC Berkeley.

SEE IF YOU CAN REMEMBER WHO THESE CHARACTERS ARE?

“Before Brandon. Before I had the chance to fall in love. I dreamed of you. You didn’t have a face or a name. Your voice was simply a medley of my favorite love songs, the whisper in my head when reading my favorite poems about love. You were the reason I woke up two hours before school to do my hair and makeup in hopes that some boy would give me a second glance. It was you … the idea of you. The dream of you

“Ruin me.”

“Um. You kissed me, pal.” His frown at this gave way to a grin. “Yeah, but you kissed me back.” “Only because you fell on me.” “I should fall on you more often.” But he was shaking his head, like he couldn’t believe it. “Don’t get too excited,” I said. “You’re going to forget it, anyway.” “I won’t forget it,” he said. “Even if I don’t remember, I’ll remember.”

Life is about fucking up, taking the good with the bad. Life’s about sometimes doing something crazy that you might regret. Life is about taking chances.”

“I believe in exceptional, unusual love. And if we’re only going to love the people who love us back, what’s so unusual about that?”

eleven it is.”

You want the truth? Well, how turned on I am right now isn’t a lie. I don’t get hard for any old girl, Maya. I get hard for you.”

With some people, you just get this feeling deep down that they’re going to be important in your life.

“pick a road and get on with it, and suffer the consequences, good or bad.”

“What are we going to do, exactly?”

“Everything.”

“But I really want to be bad with you. Especially after seeing what a bad girl you really are, Squirt.”

I loved that feeling—the bittersweet love story between a person and a novel coming to an end.”

Unbelievably AWESOME

“I felt thrilled. I felt enchanted.”

“But the things we remember are what we hold on to, and what we hold on to becomes the story of our lives. We only get one story. And I am determined to make mine a good one.”

“not getting what you want is actually the trick to it all. Because not getting what you want forces you to appreciate what you already have. I finally got that if you were always in a state of longing you could never truly get satisfied.”

“Frustration is wanting,”
“And wanting is always better than having.” “Always?”
“Always,”
“Sounds like torture.” “No, no, no,” I said. “Wanting without hope is torture. Wanting with hope is anticipation.”

“And there really are all kinds of happy endings.”