Haley Cypert > Recent Status Updates

omg asking your coworking for a haircut at the end of the day? I didn’t know I needed this stylist representation 🤗🥰

67 goals in a season for a defensemen rookie is insane. But pop off queen.

aaaaAAAAAAAWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! 🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

If I die before I finish this fucking book, I want to be buried with my vintage McDonald happy meal toys.

Wakes up mistaken for a spy? Has to work with a man that doesn’t have a name so is referred to as the-hottest-guy-I’ve-ever-seen??? God, I like Ally Carter.

omg Elle Fanning is doing the audiobook and she is phenomenal. phenomenaaaaal. 👌🏼

“Of course the first thing aliens would notice about me are my big tits. The alien species that populate Xi Consortium either don’t have breasts or they’re much smaller than mine.” 🍿🥱🥱🥱"

bruv I wanted Teddy and Gus’s book from the jump let’s gooooo.

a cannibalism metaphor for female rage to get me through menstruation. duhhh. 👄🩸🩸🩸

I AM HATING THE SECOND BOOK. NOTHING new is happening. I have to start a different book. Maybe I’ll finish it. But I can’t listen to it when I puzzle cuz I don’t want the boring-juju in the puzzle.

I AM HATING THE SECOND BOOK. NOTHING new is happening. I have to start a different book. Maybe I’ll finish it. But I can’t listen to it when I puzzle cuz I don’t want the boring-juju in the puzzle.

*cracks knuckles* I’ll see you all in six months. 🫡🫡

is this whole book supposed to be an account of an illicit affair? because I would love to know WHEN. THEY. FUCK.

am I on crack cocaine? my edition doesn’t have CHAPTERS???!

YOU TAKE THE ORC OUT OF THE CITY!!! 🎶🎶🎵

lil fucking freak :)))

damn girl *I* need a break

a cross section of Night Bitch’s ‘just found out I’m expecting’ and My Year of Rest and Relaxation’s ‘New York right after 9/11

a cross section of Night Bitch’s ‘just found out I’m expecting’ and My Year of Rest and Relaxation’s ‘New York right after 9/11’

fuck it. I have food poisoning so I’m reading Twilight for the 20th time. I’m

I might be insane because I like when books are “hard to read”

wait a MAN goes missing?? idgaf!!!!

holy smokes ♥️