Ayla > Recent Status Updates

A bit slower on these chapters but I did enjoy them relatively. I like the balance of the "I am" statements activity and centering God at the forefront even through times of grief. I think Smith's scientific explanation of how grief and loss can change the value of certain identities and how that is a loss of itself too is really impactful and something I definitely want to think about more.Looking forward to the end

This chapter on invisible grief was really nice and helpful to read through. I didn't realize that's also something I am juggling through the forefront presenting loss of Dad being gone. there's a lot of moving parts to this and being able to sit with it and get the advice for grief groups and finding people like me is oddly comforting and helpful. I really like the fact that there's support in here for this.

Not the biggest fan of the chapter I just read, but I like the introduction of the dual-process model of coping with grief. It's something that I think can really apply beyond couples breaking up and I think it works for the Pandemic, loss of life, and also experiences because that is still a valid and very real thing to grieve. This chapter didn't feel as intimate as the others though which is why I didn't like it.

This past chapter has got to be my favorite one so far; answering "what's the meaning of this?" because when it comes to loss, maybe there is meaning, maybe there isn't -- and that's what I struggle with the most. I just am so filled with anger and sadness; but the themes of accepting love/forgiveness but also being able to extend it? It's hard to be the bigger and better person but it is a good way to be; as it may.

I do sincerely enjoy reading this book, but my goodness is it a long read, especially with adding the fact that I'm also annotating it at the same time. I want to be able to enjoy the book in its' entirety, which I am, but there's a lot to absorb while I am reading it. I love her way of weaving religious texts to practical theories and her own experience. Resilence and grief are not entwined and inherently the same.

though referencing the bible, I can see Quran parallels here. I do get so angry reading this sometimes because I feel seen and reminded by all the grief and hurt that I am in. and yet still, it helps a great deal. some of the activities are helpful, others are mediocre at best. Again, the balance of religion emphasis and using definitions/therapy is so wonderful. I really appeal to this sort of framework and it helps

Repicked this book up after a really long time. It's really good and I love to be able to annotate it and cry, it's a nice book because I do feel understood & seen through it. There's a part that made me think about Taniys and I text him, but the growth is still there. the letting go. I really appreciate her scientific, personal, and academic approach to tackling grief, it's been really helpful and a good read for it

So interesting and exciting! I really like the back and forth of present and past, albeit a little challenging to follow along sometimes. I wish there was more Vance and Sal development like there was in the beginning, but the context of Yal is so well done; even with Charo's pronoun switch when she started to understand Yal's trans identity. Super insightful, and Sal is super witty and funny.

really enjoying this so far! I like the switch between Sal and Charo, she's a really interesting character too. The writing of the book is a little confusing to follow at some parts - one of the characters is trans, one is explaining the difference of experiences, etc ? - but I love how we get inside Sal's head and his life, wondering why he's gay, historical molestation and queerness, and all else. it's so real.

A bit of a slowish fast start,but not too mad at it. First time in a LONG time (maybe ever?) I'm reading something in third person POV. the introduction of Sal missing his interview on purpose and his history being told through his mother and best friend's story is fascinating. A bittersweet and beautiful touch. The descriptions in this book related to queerness are that of any other I read - like the dances & bodies

haven't been able to read read in awhile, so locking in with this was so interesting section to read. I am a lot more suprised Yami's mom didn't push more for her to see her Dad, that was super unrealistic and doesn't make sense for the storyline in my opinion - just convenient for the plot. And then beyond that, her being over at Bo's is really cute and wholesome, but also trying to do way too much at the same time

The spelling errors have been SENDING me! What I will say I've been enjoying though is the timing/pacing of the book - like the months don't all blur together, and for a long book, it's clear when is happening when. Jamal's story is sad, but I like how he treats Yami. I wonder about Yami's dad, and forget she did tell him about herself. Bo definitely doesn't have a girlfriend. I think Cesear will be hospitalized!

A better chunk was this section of reading for sure. I really related to Yami wanting to act straight while drunk under a party, and how much easier it was for her at the party. The grind train was a bit wild to add but I can see how it led to the other scenes in the book. The punch was kinda random, and a weird scene to add - not sure how much I enjoyed reading through that portion. Interesting to see Hunter's POV

This book is giving Wattpad, middle schooler finds out they're queer and reads Kimberele Krenshaw once core. The scene where Cesear comes out to Yami as bi at first was really wholesome, and then they started...TWERKING? I was literally having secondhand embarrassment for them. The book just tries to tackle a lot of complexity with youth, but makes them seem more childish which cheapens the whole meaning of the theme

A bit of a corny read, but for what it's worth, a decent read. I keep forgetting Yami is supposed to be 16/17, because she speaks and acts almost as though she is still in middle school. The writing is not that of a teenager's at all, which makes it a little hard to read, but I am not complaining. I enjoy her relationship with her brother and mother, and seeing her father from a distance as well, because that's real.

find the constant food analogies to skin color a bit odd and slightly off putting. It's interesting that we learn about Nisha as newly as Lucky does. I can't believe how risque they have been getting. The dialogue with Tasha and Lucky is really interesting. The line about her having the rainbow bracelet was subtle but real; I get that "defiance". The part of Shayma's wedding and with Dave was hard but again, so real.

Breezing through this so far because it's a really fun and enjoyable read. The risque scenes are subtle and not the usual heavy detailed smut, which is actually a nice change. I like the culture analysis and her thoughts, and what Lucky is experiencing as a SA woman whose butch but still with her family. I wonder if Kris is bi with the way he's acting, and wish I knew more about her and Nisha's old relationship.

I was genuinely NOT expecting May to commit suicide, especially when all of the other grief she was going through, IMO, was way worse than what had happened with Zach. What happened with Zach too was also wild, and I didn't see that coming. Lily's call with T Ray was to have gone as expected, but I like her writing arc after it. Rosaleen needs more input and dialogue, what do you mean May and her were besties?

Sometimes I forget about Lily's whiteness, but in the moment she fainted after the religious moment was so interesting & fascinating to me. Like that pressure on her, as a white person in a black space was such an interesting flip. Her relationship after June too was interesting to follow and see how she can't understand why August wants to make it normal. May's story and how the twin killed herself? such a shock.

Got to a weird bump towards the start of chapter 5 where the content gets a bit redundant/slow, but otherwise really loving the introduction of the new characters! I like how Lily is 14 but self aware and realizing she has prejudice tendencies, while not recognizing Rosaleen isn't "w/o manners" but more comfortable with other WOC. the constant crying from August seems like foreshadowing and I wanna note that.

figured out I started reading this book because taniys recommended it! a slow and slightly confusing start at first but it picks up speed (& sense) about 20 pages in which is nice. The story being weaved is a really heartbreaking but powerful one. the detail of Lily calling NY a new country was fascinating to me. I really like Rosaleen as a character and how strong she is, albeit stubborn, and Lily's feelings on it!

this book is making me irritated by the minute. Amma going back to her ex so quickly, him holding her sexuality against her, etc. Maya coming to terms with her lesbianism is sweet and I think well written, but also this book has gone completely haywire. The puglists falling apart and then Maya having no friends afterwards is so weird and doesn't always flow with the book. ALSO WHAT IS THE SCHOOL YEAR TIMELINE.

Like where has the plot gone...there's so many twists and turns and weird evolutions that I feel like everything sorta got forced into this book and it's churning out to be super awkward and forced. Juneau being queer and scared but having a facade is making me get Maya's fear of her, but that whole scene in Harvey's office was wild; as was breaking up with Theo and Mateo. Also Maya's OG friends really are asses.

a lot of action happening in these last pages which I like but also it's so hard to get through simultaneously. The politics in a HS with Ife v Maya v Anya disappearing, but then reappearing and getting it together is valuable but at the same time forced and a bit awkward. I feel like the sexuality bit and queerness parts are a bit forced and explored inorganically. there's a lot of PC from Juneau again which is bleh

there's so much happening since the initially 60 pages I read. Maya recounts her change that happened dramatically, but I no longer enjoy Juneau's character. She seems like an overly PC character and that gets old very quickly as a white woman. Everyone defending Anya is wild. Also the dad is genuinely so shitty, and like the mom is not a great parent either, and way to up sterotypes. a bit disappointing of a turn.

a little corny-ish but a decent read! I liked this chunk where we see Maya's hesitation of joining the puglits, which makes sense given her character; and I like J's and Mateo's hesitation of taking her in. I feel like it's accurate to their characters and works with who they are as characters as well. I will say that I find the dialogue in the book to be good, and Maya is genuinely an authentically funny person!

enjoying this so far! very face paced, which is a different transition compared to other YA books I read. Maya's identity is also not cornily being used, and I like how it's not so stereotypical, it feels more authentic that way. getting straight into the nitty-gritty and subtle sapphic twinges makes my heart warm. this is shaping up to be a pretty solid read and I am super happy about that!

this is going okay so far! I like the pep talk about discovering yourself once you're single and balancing comfort with challenge. That's really astute and inspiring, and the liners about navigating sleeping with your ex and friendships after being a possibility (but not a reality, and that too is OKAY), is really helpful and sweet. This bi chapter is super thoughtful and helps me realize that there's a lot of work.

the chapter on sex was really informative! I really enjoyed reading it and learning more about WLW sex in a positive and open-minded way. I like how the author spelled a lot of things out and explained them with humor but also bluntness. This is a really sweet and serene way to talk about something that is super serious and a lot to handle at once, and how she used the analogy of sex being exercise you get better at.

I was enjoying the book (the advice on "mixed" signals was actually super clear and helpful + line about someone negotiating your comfort doesn't belong in your pants/bedroom) but then Lindsay was a white woman queer about the line of not dating someone who is closeted. Are you kidding me? Maybe she's doing that until it's safe for her to come out or for financial reasons, WHICH YOU ALSO SAID ABOUT COMING OUT. Huh?