noemi > Recent Status Updates

don't mind me, i've decided to update my profile with all the books i read in the last 4 weeks

hi friends, i have decided to leave goodreads behind and move onto Fable instead, as it's much more user-friendly and cute than this godforsaken app.

if you do have Fable or decide to create an account, feel free to connect here: https://fable.co/noemi-passamonti-327...

if you'd like to stay in touch but don't have Fable, drop me a message now that you still can!

toodles 👑

did i see this coming from a hundred miles away? yes. is it any less heartbreaking? absolutely not.

‘he woke up with no eyebrows and no idea how he’d gotten into such a position’.

i’m sold - tell me more

yes girl, go get your revenge and please be as cruel as possible

‘no one has loved me for so many a long year, i have done it all from spite. if the world offers me no kindness, then i will take from it armour and sword, create an unassailable fortress for myself and lock the door’.

ah, i love spiteful women

why would anyone call a vampire Bill is beyond me. also, this book is written so badly i am not sure i will be able to endure it. i know i said i wanted trashy, but oh boy

literally on page 2 and i’m already laughing my tits off. i think i’m in for a ride

my librarian recommended said “this is twilight but for adults” and it made me really giggle so here i am. i hope it’s trashy enough

georgie jones is so unserious i love her so much. she literally wrote a poem about Pitbull, how can one not love her???

“people say ‘i’m sorry’ all the time when it can mean both ‘i’m sorry i hurt you’ and ‘i’m sorry someone else did something i have nothing to do with’. it’s like the english language gave up on trying to find a word for sympathy which wasn’t also the word for guilt”.

yuppppppp

my blood pressure is through the roof

the anxiety this book is giving me is unmatched. 10/10

i don’t understand what he meant!!! what do you mean you’re not fully compatible??? care to explain??? 😭

she is way too funny for someone whose name is misery lol

honestly sounds like grimes should stay dead. just saying

mr collins must be the most delusional funny man of this novel. the fact that he’s a clergyman makes him so much funnier too

omg just be big boys and kiss already

i’m 30% in and i still don’t know who died but it’d better not be james but richard or i’ll flip my mental table

the plot twist is twisting!!!

'be unrelenting and unmerciful in the face of the wicked dead.'
'and if you should find soul sundered from flesh, order a drink for us at the first tavern you come across in the afterlife. we'll settle the tab when we get there'.

WHY AM I GETTING CHOKED UP PICTURING THIS

i got this book because it was £0.99. i read “global phenomenon” on the cover and the chances of this actually being crap just skyrocketed

it’s a bit too early for a re-read, but this seems like a good compromise

Then she reached out and brushed aside his bangs, "Tu esi mano draugas."
"That some sort of Christmas prayer?"
She shook her head.
"Then what'd you say?"
She stared at the water, saying softly, "You are my friend."

i am literally fighting for my life at this point 😭

reading just one or two chapters a day, because everything is too painfully beautiful

literally on page 1 and it’s already making me cry. that must be a first.

DNF’d this book at 8% for two main reasons: 1) i didn’t have any more room in my suitcase to pack this chunky book; 2) i couldn’t get into the whole “characters that beg the author to write about them” narrative.

there’s a reason why this book should not be read in public and i swear it’s not the smutty chapters 😭💔