Willemijn > Recent Status Updates

Hallucinations, random associations between people and info about them but not their name, rapid regression, disappointment from loved ones (esp when you feel like you just accomplished something)

More frustrating things:
- noticing your own regression, or just waiting for it to happen
- not being able to safely do anything independently, but not being far gone enough that you aren’t bored out of your mind. And associated: reliance on others.
- repetitive thoughts
- alienation, not belonging
- accepting information as fact rather than knowing it to be true (eg your relation to a family member)

Devastating things:
- forgetting about people’s deaths, re-experiencing the news
- distrusting people for ‘withholding info’
- being lost in your own home
- ostracisation, people avoiding you
- knowing exactly what the prognosis of your disease is but not knowing the timeline
- being painfully aware you’re looking for a word but not being able to reach it
- forgetting your relation to the people you love

Also, striking discussion on how she would rather have cancer than Alzheimer's, for a large part because of society's reaction to cancer (people see you as brave) but also for the opportunity to fight it, and if you lose, to say goodbye with a relatively clear mind. Come back to later.

More notes for class:

Reader is in the weird place of knowing exactly what Alice has forgotten while those around her aren't and she isn't aware either. Makes social 'faux pas' really awkward (e.g. sitting down in a lecture waiting for the prof when *she* teaches the class).

Also, planning for one's own death based on a forgetfulness test... Clear loss of the will to live at the prospect of disease progression

First impressions (for class):
- not overwhelmingly good writing but reasonably fast-paced, keeping the book engaging enough
- seems awful to realise from the behaviour of those around you that you’ve missed something/done something strange but have no idea what because you’ve forgotten
- “for others, [information] would have been enough [to convince them of the diagnosis], but X loved her” ouch