Mel > Recent Status Updates

Seriously. A fake relationship Does Not Need an antagonist. It's an internal conflict of realizing their feelings. Or embarrassment of others finding out. What it DOESN'T need, is a busybody random some GUY twirling his moustache saying, "HA! I caught you in a fake marriage! You're not in love enough!" Dating someone else? Open marriages exist. Live in different houses? So what. They have a license. They're married.

I hate this on so many levels. For one: there is no amount of peer pressure, certainly not from WORK, that would persuade me to invite someone I hated into my home that I didn't want there. Two: it's not even his decision to make! It's Tanner's home, and fuck if I want an antagonistic stranger around my four kids! Third: I hate this whole storyline about a random asshole trying to prove their relationship is a sham.

Back home, I make grilled cheese and tomato soup. That’s as close to pizza from scratch as I can muster. Dean helps by doing impersonations of the Swedish Chef, and Lulu helps by trying to eat all the cheese.

I let out a long, slow breath as I slide into my car and shut the door. My head is clouded with spiraling thoughts and the stench of my sons’ flatulence.

Me not shaking with laughter and needing to preserve this quality line.

*growls* Yes! That is why I read romance right there. The I'm Not Giving Up On You speech is so satisfying

"Likewise," Des shoots him a wink. Tanner turns back to his drink, but I clock Des's eyes staying on him for an extra second. After decades of friendship and teamwork, they have a strong bond that's heartening to see.
"Aww. Kiss!" Hank says before breaking into a laugh.

*checks characters for the next book*
YES! I actually was tempted to read book 2 first just for the premise, but now I'm glad I get the buildup. XD

Ooh, I love the little worldbuilding throughlines. In a previous book mentioning a gaggle of flight school grads coming into the bar to celebrate. And now we're at the local airport.

GASP! Oh noooo~! Okay I did not see that one coming. The soap-opera DRAMA!

“And apparently, there’s a bunch of gay teachers in the high school. Like an abnormally high amount.”

*cackles* Like, enough to write an entire series of romance novels about.

Great, now my winter sports loving ass had to go off and watch Adam Rippon and Gus Kenworthy hanging out together. Ugh, gay athletes just warm the cockles of my gaddamn heart. Also, Gus is a filthy bastard for picking up jumps on the ice that fast.

“You don’t see it?” Jolene asked. “You have to find the North Star. It’s the brightest star in the sky.”

It isn't though? Noooo, and the adults don't know to correct her! *wails* Sirius, you have been wronged!

OMG what is with crafting the most embarrassing situations that have me wheezing like a vacuum cleaner in horror?

Maybe it's also the medium. Like, in a movie with the background music setting the tone, it's a heightened reality of silly hijinks. Reading, however? Utterly destroyed.

Leo: I got some time between meetings. Want to meet at my office?
Derek: Sure. Where is it?
Leo: City Hall, motherfucker!

Hahaha, I could HEAR that! Leo in previous books has plastered on a charming face for politics. Yet here's the mayor, meeting up with his old high school buddy, and instantly reverted into a 16-year-old.

Okay, I really need to know what happened to that letter.

"As you wish."

The Dread Pirate Valero clearly has a favorite movie.

"We're taking back what they think they've stolen with absolute impunity from everyone else."

Vizzini was more succinct:
"You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen."

A glass cage of emotion? I swear this author has the most millennial references ever. Could he, BE, any more millennial??

*like trying to stop two disobedient dogs*
Noooo, don't you do it! Don't you do it now.
This is her wedding. Don't you DARE pull focus.

OMG this bathroom scene is baffling whiplash! I don't know where to start. The emotional shifts. And just... why is he upside down that close to a toilet? Poor Charlie, he studied for his first time and now he has to give head on his head! I can just imagine him thinking, "This wasn't supposed to be on the practical exam!" Not that I think he minds. But need I remind you, sirs are at a wedding!? You ironed that!

Transitive usage of "disappear" just sounds so jarring to my ears. The act of disappearing things into other things? *grimace* For whatever reason, my brain accepts the transgressive verbing of nouns as fun and playful. Velociraptor around your house all you want. But transing intransitive verbs? Nails on a chalkboard. Clearly my ears are grammatical bigots.

OMG the secondhand embarrassment is real! I clapped my hands over my face and must've been blushing so hard. NOoOoOooo~!

Which is crazy, because I think in real life back to... not dissimilar... situations among friends, and it's chill. But like - their relationship does not seem that close yet! (>_<;;)

Not usually a huge fan of age gap, but alright so far.

One pet peeve for me in bi awakenings though is just blowing past the fantasizing bit. Don't you dare "by-the-way" mention that they got off the other day to so-n-so. It's one thing if they've always had bi fantasies, and just think that's normal, somehow different from acting on it. But if this is brand new, that's a big deal. I need more.

“A boyfriend can help show off other sides to you. Humanize you,” Russ said.
Humanize was a word I hated more than likable. I was already a human, as evidenced by my body parts and ability to have sentient thoughts.

And every Aro in the land cheered, "Amen! Fuck amatonormativity!"

"Thanks to you, you idiot!"
Couldn't agree more. Honestly Perry, what do you expect, opening doors willy-nilly at a country house party? Mind your manners and leave moaning doors be.

Congratulations, Perry! You just won cockblock bingo! Three different couples in one go!

Ahh!! I know somebody else reading this must be flipping tables at the constant interruptions, but I'm having heaps of fun! What's that? You think you're going to have a private romantic moment?
*takes out croupier stick and pushes more obstacles onto the field*

I'm vaguely remembering a wedding tradition where the friends tease the couple, preventing them from sneaking off to bed afterwards. From a book, perhaps?

"He wished... he could go home."
DAW! <3 He thinks of it as home!
But it's true, your parents' house is just your parents' house. Doesn't make it home.

Rule #48 of Country House Parties - Always assume any "empty" room is occupied. Amorously.

Haha, I love it how literally everyone is trying to sneak off, and just end up interrupting each other. ^_^;;

le gasp! Drama!
*licks fingers with relish*
We are being fed so well!

"Shall we walk together, Gwen dear?"
Nice. Looks like somebody's making a move.