Tuong Van > Recent Status Updates

A refresher of Kiyosaki's principles for the memory.

Dubious, dubious reading. Take me for a joy ride. Frankly there are just so many things I cannot agree. The authour sounds very clever, but all the more spurious. I have this feeling that it is not very truthful somehow and trying to twist the tale. Especially when he starts using phrase like "any economists would feel...", "any economists worth his salt would...", and pretty much callous and unempathetic.

Many tips for women how to connect emotionally with husbands. Remember Pavlov conditioning? Train him a little at a time with appreciation and compliments for effort (even botched ones). Making marriage works also requires "hard work, tremendous effort, focus" like everything else.
Oh, and for 12% who cheat no matter what, better give up as soon as finding out. The pains outweigh any possible gains for staying.

54% never told about affair:
-28% never asked
-27% lie even with some evidence
-14% lie until evidences
31% told because questioned
-12% after questioned multiple times
-12% after questioned 1st time
-7% without being question
Meet the other woman at:
-40% work
-32% personal interest activity
-17% neighbourhood
-3% internet
Cheat after meet
-6% same day
-27% <1 month
-36% 1 month-1 year
-69% <1 year.

Warning signs:
1.Spend more time away from home
-55% when close to infidelity
-61% when involved
2.Have sex infrequently
-34% close to infidelity
-43% during
3. Avoid contacts
-29% before
-24% during
4. Criticize more
-25% before
-19% during
5. Start more fights 25%
6. Tell about the other woman.

Influence of friends & family: faithful men have less acquaintances who cheat than cheating men. Most to least influences: close friends, immediate family members, father.
The affair:
-54% one woman
-46% multiple affairs.
Duration:
-47% <1 year
-24% between 1-2 years
-9% 2-4 years
-20% >4 years
Average time before 1st infidelity 6 years

Causes of emotional dissatisfaction:
-37% underappreciated by wife, not thoughtful or caring
-17% emotionally disconnected
-11% lack of communication
-10% no longer share same values
12% wife lost temper
Overall
54% related to wives' appreciation, thoughtfulness & emotional connection

42-question survey, from divorcing classes, international online survey firm specializing in medical and psychological researches; cheaters & non-cheaters from 48 states, mirrored US demography, n=200;
Men cheat because dissatisfaction
-48% primarily emotional
-32% equal emotional & sexual
-12% other/no
-8% primarily sexual
Overall marriage dissatisfaction
-59% emotional
-29% sexual
-12% other

I come across this by accident, but now I know!!!

Rather promising intro

Examine flowscape
-Separate loops: disagreement if each for different people's actions; or cognitive dissonance when unrestrain actions even causal connection in reality; or intereference is prevented
-Collector/loop: solve this solve whole
-Collector: more factors reinforce significance & unchangeability
-Chain: items are attributes needed for end-chain/right-choice
-Introduce new concept: change flow & loop

Flowscape represents inner world, sometimes, wise perception gets very close to outside reality. Analysis is also perception with adequate reasoning. Stream of consciousness: combine details into a concept, or later, concept becomes collector; extend or short chains come to same end. Flowscape is not problem-solving techniques, it should not reflects what wish to do but the only perception on the situation.

Flowscapes: order not causes
Constructing steps:
-Decide subject
-Draw up stream of consciousness list
-Alphabetise items
-Indicate flow from each item to another
-Draw flowscape
-Redraw,tidy up
Examining flowscape on collector, stable loop (must have), and link.

In self-organised system, there is tendency to achieve a stable loop. To change from a smaller loop to a bigger one require something to change the preferred connector in order to shift perception. Children always ask "why" not because they want to know the causal relationship but the connectors, similar to adults trying to explain unknown things by "myths"

Principles
1Be constructive
2Think slowly &make it simple
3Detach ego &stand back to look
4What trying to do now
5Switch gears when to use logic, creativity, information
6Outcome, will it work
7Feeling &emotion consider
8look for new alternative, perception &idea
9back-forth broad &detail
10logic as what it based
11Different view on sound different perception
12action->impact value, people, world around

Truth and Creativity: ways things are, ways things should be
Critical thinking: true? truth value? does it follow? must it follow?
Creative: hypothesis, speculation, provocation
Lateral: Provocation (received, reversal, escape, wishful, outrageous) &movement (attitude, moment-to-moment, principle, difference, value, interesting)
Basic operations: cut, stick, shape
Further habits: circumstance, broad &detail

Ways of getting movement:
-Attitude
-Moment-to-moment
-Extract a principle
-Focus on the difference
-Search for value
-Interesting
-Random word

Speculation: certain, good guess, possible, tentative, provocation
Scientific thinking: analyse evidence, most reasonable hypothesis, prove it wrong (not right)
Paradigm shift is hard because we only find what we are ready to see
Lateral thinking: B->A through side walk (after get lost)
Movement: over the ridge, self-organised system fall into place
Provocation: reversal, escape, wishful, outrageous

Reality truth vs. truth in a constructed system
Absolutely vs. modestly claimed truth value
-Checkable truth
-Personal experience
-2nd-hand experience
-Generally accepted
-Authority
Logic truth value:
-Correspond with reality
-Accord to line of argument
-Must it follow?
Critical thinking: uncover truth by attacking &removing all that false, not enough for constructive thinking
Under what circumstance?