Alex ☣ Deranged KittyCat ☣ > Recent Status Updates

"A good top is not bossy, cruel or abusive unless you ask him or her very nicely: topping is an awesome honor and responsibility."

This is so entertaining. *excited* I missed Suzanne's style.

It's uncomfortable how many times he writes about his penis... Just weird.

It's uncomfortable how many times he writes about <spoiler> frostnipped penis </spoiler>...

I am really loving it! Mei is really something: strong, determined, real.

To anyone who has experienced a bit of envy, always believe in your heart.

having no home to go back to,
I built one, one battle at a time

Grief #3
Mourn the many selves you have not become
Mourn so you can make space for the self you have always been

Pain #3
Understanding, analyzing, naming, categorizing, diagnosing, I have come to learn, won't take the pain away.

Alone in despair
Drenched in sweat
I opened my eyes
I am a burden
I deserve to die
I checked my phone
No one to call
I am a burden
I deserve to crawl.

Childhood trauma #5
My mind can't comprehend what it would be like to have my needs met.

I visited the darkness and returned with a book of poetry.

My Heart and Time

I love you in the way that not a single word comes to me, without sounding like hope. I love your hands, not quite sure, and your curious, candid eyes. What I miss more than anything is your laughter. Like memory, it cuts through anything. Through my heart and time.

Something Else

It's impossible for me to feel just one emotion at a time. Even in moments of pure, unadulterated joy, there is always an intrusion of something else, a pinprick of guilt or sorrow shaped by a voice, not quite my own, telling me I don't deserve this.

Be patient. Your voice will find its way into the world, not in one loud instance but a steady trickle that turns into a deluge.

The most beautiful thing is not when you learn to live without something; it's the moment you realize you never needed it in the first place.

In the wrong hands, your past is a weapon.

Your life is worth less
than their fifteen minutes
But that's the trap you set for yourself
Your freedom for this
Your peace of mind for this
Is it worth it?

"Something tells me it's been a long time coming. Someone whispers, Be careful what you wish for. Because the heart can't retract what it once wanted. Didn't you know it is the universal law?

Now go back to the years you waited. All that time you spent yearning. Be careful what you wish for. It never comes the way you think.

My words were a whisper upon his grave. The moment they left my lips, his eyes exploded, and his heart gave out.

I'm not so sure about this one...

This is surprisingly good!