Daniel Ronan > Recent Status Updates

"When he was done he looked down upon some twenty books lying at his wife's feet. ... If you love me at all you'll put up with your, twenty-four, forty-eight hours, that's all I ask, then it'll be over, I promise, I swear!"

Ain't that the dream, Montag, reading 20 books in two days?

The ISBN seriously couldn't have 451 in it anywhere, you coward publishers

"She opens Mrs. Dalloway. She doesn't want to think of her husband anymore.. She has already thought of her husband so many times, and she has never once finished Mrs. Dalloway. She always told herself it was because she didn't care for Woolf's style, the circular sentences, the never-ending thoughts punctuated with semicolons; like this; and this; and then this."

Good damnit am I going to read Mrs. Dalloway again?

"Such an event,, however distressing, was not unusual at the time when antenatal care and care in childbirth were still awaiting the advances of Victorian times."

Can you imagine how bad childbirth and healthcare must have been if you were waiting on the Victorians to figure shit out?

"If someone Chris loved got a sudden yen to go snorkeling, if Kathryn, for instance, said, Hey Chris, I'd really love to go snorkeling with you this weekend, he'd be more than happy to go."

This might be the first time I've encountered "yen" out in the wild, and not the NYT crossword puzzle.

"Okay, golden boy, don't get fruity, focus on the task at hand."

"Resting on her side so that her beautiful breasts stack vertically, decline beautifully, breastily bedward—thank you, oh thank you gravity."

This book was written by a woman.

This book is name dropping so many other weird and obscure novels, it's going to be difficult not adding them all to my TBR list.

I'm making the very mature and adult decision to DNF this book at a hundred and fucking twenty pages.

"Despite a terrific pounding by siege engines, the castle held out against every assault, beating off a giant cat carrying 200 bowmen."

Jesus, Gies', phrasing! I'm trying to read a book about medieval castles, not a modern romantasy.

Performative Male: Before we get started, mind if I finish my book? It was written by this brilliant woman of color.
Chloe: Um, Margaret, where did you find these guys?
Margaret: On a Sally Rooney message board. They're the most sensitive male strippers in all the Catskills.

(I was so excited to mansplaine to my wife why that joke is funny.)

"And then starts spreading peanut butter on the bread, like he's settled an important matter and now needs a snack."

I heard Ali Hazelwood did a good job making sure all the Vampyre lore was accurate, but I didn't realize the pet dog lore was also accurate.

I swear, if there is peanut butter flavored lube I'm throwing this book at a wall.

I'm a hundred pages in, and I know Misery is supposed to look like the lady on the cover, but I keep picturing Sarah Sherman on Weekend Update dressed up like Nosferatu with a big bald head and creepy hands.