Daniel Ronan > Recent Status Updates

Performative Male: Before we get started, mind if I finish my book? It was written by this brilliant woman of color.
Chloe: Um, Margaret, where did you find these guys?
Margaret: On a Sally Rooney message board. They're the most sensitive male strippers in all the Catskills.

(I was so excited to mansplaine to my wife why that joke is funny.)

"And then starts spreading peanut butter on the bread, like he's settled an important matter and now needs a snack."

I heard Ali Hazelwood did a good job making sure all the Vampyre lore was accurate, but I didn't realize the pet dog lore was also accurate.

I swear, if there is peanut butter flavored lube I'm throwing this book at a wall.

I'm a hundred pages in, and I know Misery is supposed to look like the lady on the cover, but I keep picturing Sarah Sherman on Weekend Update dressed up like Nosferatu with a big bald head and creepy hands.

"But seldom does thief ride home to the stable. Here are Hasufel and Arod, that Éomer, the Third Marshal of the Mark, lent to us, only two days ago."

There's a non-zero number of young boys from the Boston area who stopped reading LoTRs in the mid to late 2000s because there was a horse named A-Rod.

So concludes the first part of the journey, which I read in public, knowing full well it will make me tear up.

Samwise Gamgee is the best character ever written.

God damn is this a good book. I can't wait to go on a hike.

New hobby: Open a Mona Awad book to a random page and pick out a great title for your novel, album, or song.

Lipstick is for Whores.
We Might be a Magic Thing.
Golden Light of September.
Verisimilitude and Bald-Faced Lies.
Sticky and Sweaty and Slutty.
Our Queen of Filth and Mystery.

God damn do I love a boring ass book. So far it's almost entirely shit like, "Of females 10 years of age or older who were resident in Hamilton Company boardinghouses in 1830 and 1840, more than 80 percent were between 15 and 30 years of age." There's got to be a better way of saying that, right?

There's a prestige HBO series hidden in this book if only the right person got their hands on it.

Truly thankful for audiobooks for when I don't enjoy a book club book and just need to power through at 1.5 speed.

"Pea Eye didn't attempt to tell the Captain how he felt, though. The Captain was preparing to leave, and he didn't linger when he had someplace to go."

Oh, Pea Eye, you sweet cowboy. You can tell your friends what's been bothering you. It's ok, you just got a little anxiety and depression. Your friends and family will understand; they've got shoulders to cry on.