Sarah > Recent Status Updates

I have found my bible /o/

Oh the cover is sooooo wrong!

“Making-out at the minimum, and maximum, banging in the parking lot. Maybe over there”—she pointed—“where it’s all dark and romantic.”

A small cow walked toward him and meowed

I cry into my thousand-thread-count custom-made Kleenex all the time.

Cant remember the last time I read a novel that didn't make my brain rot

Its insane how quickly I fell in love with this poor caveman

Dang shes kinda stupid, and its annoying

Sheep and a draft horse omg XD

“Why do I feel like we just found the vampire version of the Playboy Mansion?”

My grandma told me I don’t need to taste piss to know I’m drinking wine

“Well, when the coming zombie apocalypse hits and there aren’t any more grocery stores, I’ll just let you take care of the hunting and the gathering, all right?”

“Don’t you know? There is no god. The Greeks stole their gods from the Minoans. The Romans stole their gods from the Greeks. It’s all nonsense, and your Hebrew god is no different.”

Baojia streaked out, followed by Stephen and Giovanni carrying Beatrice in a headlock

Surveillance photos never really do a woman justice -.-

The evil eye is strong in this one.

“What kind of nasty street-walker do you take me for?”

Whats with the anorexic cover lady?

Oh Luke you cute thing XD

Merry Christmas everyone \o/