9 > Recent Status Updates

i had to physically put this book down turn away and doomscroll a bit because i didn’t want to accept it UGHHHHHHH

pyotr is so obsessed with nikolay like initially i thought this is some 19th century bromance but the obsession the adoration the manically blind need for possession……and nikolay nikolay nikolay ughhhhhh his mood swings confound me so much….

wait im actually going to be sick wtf nikolay vsevolodovich stavrogin WTF im actually nauseous

girl it’s been like almost 700 (kobo) pages don’t piss me off..i stood by 37299292 mentions of whiskey eyes but this burn is unnecessarily slow IM HERE FOR A FUN TIME NOT A MARATHON

usually i don’t give two hoots about irresponsible absent father who also happens to be frantic and weak spirited bUTTT it’s genuinely quite upsetting to watch stephan get heartbroken by varvara (and vice versa)….the whole town getting possessed by this cruel cold maniac spirit is so bizarre to me

this book is funny as hell and somehow it still gives me the creeps….one moment im gagged by “im sure he would have foregone dying if he knew his funeral would interfere with my backgammon” and the next moment i feel like im buried alive…..

almost 100 pages just to describe a night and i still ate it up…..the brain fever is coming back…..

the familiar feeling reading dostoevsky: i know what is going on but what is going on????

i keep getting confused bcos im mixing this up with elsie silver LOL the consequences of binging on romance periodically

why is this giving pronatalism vibes LOL maybe reading ali hazelwood can help combat low birth rate

coming back to romance after a good while and every time i see a curse word or alpha (italicized) im losing my shit LMAO (in a good way ofc

she’s everywhere but she’s also nowhere this is the first time arendt’s writing feels THIS confused,,,,it’s really just like her braindump,,,,it’s like slogans slogans slogans a good point without elaboration slogans slogans slogans,,,,,

so many self obsessed shitty parents/guardian in this book………

sensational novel indeed bcos there’s basically a twist/cliffhanger every 20pages and im trying my VERY best to not look up the plot…….i wanna know what happens next but the meandering language is forcing me to slow down 😭😭😭

tbh i picked this up as a joke so my initial impression was: angsty teenage boy with pathetic loser vibes (somehow in ethan hawke’s voice too) but now im sad im so sad

the yearning…..im sitting on the edge of my chair trying to prolong their parting by slowing down my reading…

the narrator is lowkey crazy lol checking off all the unreliable narrator boxes im more afraid of her (also going into this not knowing anything and my first thought was “damn those kids feel creepy” i really don’t work well with children in big houses 😭😭

it’s so heartbreaking to read about the parent-child relationships in this book

every time our nihilist-doctor-chemist-critical Bazarov opens his mouth i give a visceral “yucks” bcos not only is he frustratingly inconsistent and myopic he’s also just a douche

and this is why sometimes hard launching ur partner helps

okay the story is picking up its pace and mr gibson is finally Self Aware but cynthia is growing very unpleasant im still waiting for molly to fight back & stop crying…

maybe i will move away from victorian realism after this becos im so damn restless lol….i know molly is made to be loved but girl ACT UP PLEASE the only intriguing, compelling character is cynthia i guess, but her plot is so repetitive so predictable and her lines so monotonous “i know im bad ive been tossed about i wish i were good” ugh ANNND??…considering to DNF this…

i have a routine with this book: pick this up and settle into the story immediately -> so annoyed with some of these characters & molly’s sweetness i wanna strangle myself -> have to put it down after two chapters bcos my blood pressure is going UP -> can’t stand to read it for days -> gets curious again

i’ve been hesitant to pick this back up bcos it can get so exasperating I HATE CLARE OMGGGG pls gaskell let molly fight back more,,,and why is mr gibson so manipulative towards his young daughter like stop giving her cold treatment to force her into submission u are pissing me off

okay this is so unfair we are not given all the clues?!!!!!! it’s like when poirot guessed wrongly (in the third floor flat when he watched this play with hastings and lost the bet) bcos the crucial evidence is withheld from the audience…..

this is the only book that doesn’t worsen my tension headaches…also isn’t the murderer quite obvious? if my guess is wrong then i’ll blame it on the noise pollution (which IS giving me murderous thoughts poirot shld have an episode where a murder happens bcos of incessant drilling)

only two chapters in and i kinda hate clare/mrs kirkpatrick

it gets extra fun when u read it like a gay british sitcom (im watching the first episode simultaneously and stephen fry IS giving a lot of materials for this interpretation

i wanna send all my profs a copy of this lol and that self-important simpleton Walker is such an accurate caricature of some grad sch people….brought me back when someone declared “yea my arguments don’t really make logical sense but what is political theory without audacity” and i wanted to shoot myself

this is spiritually tormenting