tatterpunk > Recent Status Updates

OMG THERE IS AN ACTUAL LESBIAN COUPLE. LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GO.

JING HUAN: *aggressively cutesy and ott to lure in his prey*

ACTUAL FEMALE PLAYERS: okay no real woman talks this way

XIANG HUAIZHI (gay): this is secretly a dude playing a girl right

JH'S AND ZH'S HET MALE FRIENDS: omg heeeeeey mei mei~~ wow what a delicate and lovely girl~~~ she's so alluring

............. I love this book

I love this book holy shit. I love the internet culture, the handles, the game culture... Jing Huan going through Noms' alt account is the hardest I've laughed because of a book in a LONG time

okay I initially passed on this one, but I loved "Limerence" SO so so much, I was like okay Jiang Zi Bei, I have to see what else you bring to the function

"Rahela's mother had many uses for men. They could be seduced for state secrets, married for money and estates, and poisoned to relieve one's feelings." See, this is why this book is pissing me off so badly. That is a GOOD LINE. And this could be a good book! Theoretically! But it's not.

"The whispers drove Rahela to drive Lia down," oh, wow, the whispers did that? Mm. Well it's good to know where to place blame. I guess.

"... men weren't rubber and women weren't glue." This is not an adult fantasy. This is a YA novel that's put on some of Mom's expensive makeup (aka a Game of Thrones aesthetic).

"Other women only existed to lose against the heroine." My problem is that Brennan is setting this up as an archetype, at least of a certain kind of fantasy. When really the solution is simple: stop reading fantasy books that are utter crap, Rae.

"She should do it for everybody who never got to kiss the pirate, the pirate or the girl in the gold bikini." One of these things is NOT LIKE THE OOOOOTHERS, and I don't mean because it's the one female character mentioned. >.<

CHENGJUN: I have only a vague idea of what Qizhe likes to eat
CHENGJUN: (fives minutes of detailed instructions)

................... istg

Zhang Ping MVPPPPPP

lmaooooooooo this political comedy of errors

"It is because of His Majesty's wisdom that Heaven has granted us this favor"

WHAT DOES QIZHE KNOW

WHAT IS THAT LITTLE SHIT UP TO

THE WAY THIS BOOK TAKES "UNRELIABLE NARRATOR" TO NEW HEIGHTS

also yun yu what. what are you doing. young man get back on a boat.

God, I am enjoying this book.

Anyway: I no longer have favorites! You're all scum! You want to show me who's best for Chengjun, I wanna see RECEEPS

Ch 106, I give up.

Ah, look at that. Full-on Titanic moment.

Yeah, I am flippant. And pretty unmoved. Far cry from the first Jiang Xing dream, huh.

Huh.

yes I've been spelling Qizhe's name wrong, I am SO TIRED TODAY and I have SO MUCH TO DO

and instead I keep READING THIS BOOK ;_;

YUN YU and LUI TONGYI: [feinting at each other, both convinced the other holds Chengju's affections, seeing each other as rivals]

meanwhile, QIZHE: [swimming unnoticed beneath the waves as the JAWS theme plays]

Do....... do people with loyalty kinks know about this book? Because uh. Damn.

"Your residence is truly full of talented individuals, Imperial Uncle. Wonderful things are always happening."

I love this little shit so bad.

Yun Yu, who gave the ill-fated gift but was just told 'whoever you love will have a hard time': "So that is how His Highness thinks of me."

Liu Tongyi, who remembers every moment spent in Chengjun's presence: "Your Highness, I feel you are already far enough removed from the vulgar as it is."

Chengjun has these sluts in a CHOKEHOLD

no wonder the Emperor is so pissy and possessive

CHENGJUN: Emperor, you really shouldn't come to other people's houses with such a small retinue of soldiers, treachery is everywhere --
QUIZHE: Are you saying I shouldn't visit you.
CHENGJUN: Absolutely not, I only meant --
QUIZHE: NO THAT'S FINE. I WOULD BE TOTALLY FINE. IF YOU MEANT THAT. I WOULD NOT BE UPSET AT ALL. MY HEART WOULD NOT BE BROKEN.

QUIZHE: Hey speaking of that courtesan. Uh. You know how everyone ignores the rule about how high-ranking court members aren't supposed to go to brothels?
QUIZHE: I think you should. In particular. Stop ignoring that rule.
QUIZHE: Or at least don't bring anymore hoes back to your house.
QUIZHE:
QUIZHE:
QUIZHE: for reasons

EMPEROR (Quizhe): [passive-aggressive remarks about Chengjun's rumored dalliances, needling references to his "conquests" but how he never falls in love]
IMPERIAL PHYSICIAN: [dares to imply Chengun should abstain from sex with the courtesan in his home while he recovers]
QUIZHE: ARE YOU CALLING MY UNCLE A WHORE? KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

("uncle" is a courtesy title, they are extremely distant cousins)

EMPEROR: I demand something in return. Specifically this one item.
PROTAGONIST: I would let you have anything, but that was a gift to me and it would be rude to --
EMPEROR: Are you denying me.
PROTAGONIST: Never! I'll send it over.
ME: Huh, how contrary to Chinese classical virtues... wait. Was it a gift from someone you wish would stay away from Chengjung?
EMPEROR: Hey you in the cheap seats. Shut up.

PROTAGONIST: Gee, the Emperor constantly insists I don't need to stand on ceremony around him, quite frequently uses my courtesy name instead of my title, seems displeased at the idea of my remarriage. What could it mean?
PROTAGONIST: Perhaps it means he sees me as untrustworthy, and is telling me to stand on notice.
ME: ............. yeah that's not what it means.

I'm still kinda bored. Xiao Cheng's background would have made for a more interesting book, at this point. Idk, things better pick up or I'm about to give up.

I will give Bi Ka Bi credit: this is truly the slowest burn I've ever read, and believably so. As of Chapter 73, they'd both admitted... they both also like men.

HURRAH!

I kept reading after my last update and right after I wrote about moving pieces into place they LITERALLY introduced XIao Li. Well, that actually assuages some fears that there would be no tension or scheming at all in the third act. I'm looking forward to it and how we transition, although I'm now convinced BKB originally only plotted out the first third of this story, and then scrambled to extend the premise.