Annie > Recent Status Updates

such a nice river over there, would be a shame if someone pushed stephen guest into it

lucy deane you are the designated fruit, congrats

yeah sarah, i think knocking your enemy off a horse and then immediately dying after is, in fact, plot

maggie and phillip both have infinite negative charisma and that is why they are soulmates thank you

very hard to write a fun status update on a book purposely written to create a feeling of “oppressive narrowness” so i won’t

imagine hating a guy so much that you write down the history of your enemyship in the family bible meanwhile he doesn’t even give a shit about you lmao

oh no! your family is bankrupt and the only way to have enough money to live is to sell all of your furniture INCLUDING THE TABLE LINEN at auction! what do you do?

a) sell all my stuff and not starve
b) fuck you i’m keeping the table linen

(the answer is b apparently)

every good novel involves someone being thrown off a horse, george eliot clearly knows this

maggie is really a character of all time, too bad she’s surrounded by a supporting cast of absolute flops

can't believe global superstar and philadelphia icon gritty is here

mary ann, the hit elizabeth gaskell novella “the moorland cottage” (1850) would like to have a word with you

january is NOT a name to give to a baby, that is a name you give to YOURSELF when you go to liberal arts college and undergo a period of radical self-discovery

wait a minute, is this fucking play about us?

and NONE of you considered that maybe letty wouldn’t have felt forced to get the police involved if someone had just taken five minutes to explain why colonialism is bad??? like you thought that existing in england as a white woman would just magically radicalize her??? if all you know is empire propaganda you’re going to believe in the fucking empire propaganda but no, letty’s not brainwashed she’s just EVIL

oh hi becky

sarah, i swear to god if i get to the end of this book only to find thackeray laughing in my face for being a dobbin/amelia supporter i will be VERY upset and it will be YOUR problem

“her sleeves were so big you could fit a whole leg of mutton in them.” yeah. that’s why they’re called leg-of-mutton sleeves.

i wanted there to be a rawdon/lord steyne duel so bad but noooo, we have to do virtue reward colonialism instead

nice to see miss briggs get a decent ending but i fear she will be the only one 😔

quite frankly, i do not care about lord steyne and his convoluted family tree and i did not need three chapters about them

hi sarah, i’m on a train (also dobbin hates glorvina thank god)

there cannot possibly be this many characters named matilda

dobbin i swear to god if you actually marry glorvina before amelia realizes you’re her ideal boyfriend i will put this book in the basement storage INDEFINITELY so that my mother’s seven thousand nora roberts novels down there put a curse on you

mrs bute crawley’s name is barbara…but a hundred pages ago it was martha…

and the real winner of the battle of waterloo is ME (enemy george is #dead)

need george removed from the narrative NOW, he is pissing me off with his profligate rake behavior

becky you are not lydia gwilt, please never try to forge a letter ever again