ash > Recent Status Updates

“‘She keeps acting like things are going to go back to normal.’
‘Well, that’s stupid… Things are different. But it doesn’t mean they have to be awful’”

“I’d loved her. The real her. The half version she’d shown to the world and the scared parts that ran from me as much as they reached for me. Every part, every dimension, every version of her, I knew and loved”

“she’d existed half in this world and half in her own”

“[he] wouldn’t know what to do if loving me wasn’t wrapped up with some form of guilt”

“Mina hides behind her secrets and I wither away my soul with pills, and we are Just Fine, Thank You. Reckless girls dancing down dirt roads, waiting to be saved from ourselves.”

“I understand.
I just can’t forgive…yet”

“Later, I will draw this place like a fucking Norman Rockwell painting. It makes me oddly nostalgic for something I’ve never had”

“‘Everyone works at our house’… ‘Benny’s job’… ‘to brighten our days’”
Benny is NOT helping the youngest child has it too easy allegations

“it was difficult for her to talk, even casually, to another person without self-consciousness and an awkward inability to find words”
oh she’s me

“if you believe that your destiny is decided, then most likely, it’s decided. if you believe that nothing is decided, then most likely, nothing is decided”

“everything that happens in a person’s lifetime has meaning”

“there is no such thing as coincidence in this world”

“she’s deliberately tormenting me. but to be fair, i did sleep with her husband”
i mean, real

“this job would be so great if not for my boss”
a sign to RUN

“the truth is: the world is full of selfish people who become selfish parents”

“needing emotional intimacy in relationships while also having an anxiety disorder that makes emotional intimacy nearly impossible is just rude as hell on the part of my brain”
feeling seen in a bad way 🫶🏻

“my social anxiety isn’t about a fear that people will be mean to me. it’s a far more nuanced kind of mindfuckery, a deep-seated conviction that every social interaction is a test i’m predetermined to fail”

“you can feel just as lost and aimless at christmas as any other time of the year”
well… yes

“‘You leaving shaped me. Your choices, they made me. I am who I am because of you! Because I love you!’
‘Don’t say it like a death sentence.’
‘Isn’t it?’”
¡qué dramática!

“Mel never knew a good world, so she never had the idea of one shatter. But she thinks Chloe might’ve thought the world was good and now she knows it’s not, and what a horrible way to learn.
But is there a good way to learn? She doesn’t think so.”

“wondering if it’s possible to love someone you don’t even know anymore”

“It’s too much to ask. It’s too much to know”

“‘I am the same person I’ve always been,’ Chloe says… she thinks: that’s what I’m afraid of”

“the order and rules get to you, make you want to screw up just for the messiness of it”

“Freedom’s just another thing to lose.
So I hold on tight”

“I think he’s already gone.
I just have to believe that it’s for now instead of forever”

“I have to belong to myself. How can I deny that… I can only accept such a deep truth.
It hurts, growing up”

“Your mother… she’s not real to you, not a person… until she is. Until she gets hurt or screws up so bad the illusion’s shattered and the truth’s left: she’s not infallible. Sometimes mothers are good. Sometimes they’re bad. Sometimes they’re bigots… addicts… abusers… all you can do is hope you’re strong enough to move through the world they try to make for you into one you make yourself”

“that’s the thing about terrible men. They can’t stand a woman’s well-earned joy”

“I don’t just belong to myself. I know myself”