Darragh Conroy > Recent Status Updates

To be or to do. There will be a roll call in life. Choose do you *need* this or is it ego that drives your decisions

Concerning listening when it comes to lies and truths one (emphasis on myself) must ACTIVELY listen. This is not just hearing. One must hear, listen, reflect and above all not interrupt. Through language, people articulate their emotions, experiences, desires etc. and so we must have the patience and understanding to listen to people fully.

Different people especially different personalities lie for different reasons and also lie to different degrees. For one person what would be considered a “lie” is just an emotional patch-up or a little white lie to make someone feel good. The same lie could be interpreted by someone else as the utmost deception. We must communicate with each other to overcome these difficulties in our interpersonal relationships

Joseph Goebbels said “A lie repeated sufficiently often, will become a truth”

In his book Erikson asks a great question. We know lying is frowned upon/bad but in any case why do we continue it? We know from stupid saying “honesty is best policy” “truth will set you free” but nevertheless we use lying to navigate our lives today. This is a serious problem.

There are many reasons to lie. Protection, monetary gain, saving face etc. Kant and erickson (author) argue that even the omission of the some truth is a lie and therefore immoral. Some lies are meant to do no harm but end up harming one or both parties. For example, honesty in marriage/relationships etc.

“From an ethical point of view, truthfulness is upheld as a virtue because mutual trust is the foundation for functioning relationships”

We can get caught up telling white lies especially in sequence. They are also problematic due to the fact they are insignificant and so easily forgotten when speaking to the person that was lied to after some time. Fabricating excuses for non-attendance can also create a web of contradictions and hurt people around you. Lying is a dangerous game and it can be hard to draw a line.

Truth can also be debilitating. As Nietzsche said “there are no facts. only interpretations” Such as critiques of art and music. Altruistic Deception is used to comfort people where it is needed. Such as doctors giving placebos to patients. Note that placebos only work on humans due to our social nature.

“Absolute honesty, especially when it contradicts one’s self image can emphasise their cognitive dissonance.”

The importance of silence, instead of telling direct truth (maybe it will hurt feelings) listen to what they have to say and if not asked directly then don’t give opinions. “When you have something to say silence is a lie” also rings in my mind here. Lying can also reinforce a self image that you are a liar. And one must keep track of lies told to not ensnare themselves. Lots to mull over here.

In a relativistic society truth is often a matter of opinion. Telling others the truth reveals our own limitations. 1999 MMR vaccine study of sample size 12 “proved” link to Autism. Statistics can mislead even if they appear correct.

Flat Earther Case Study: Making people believe in other “truths” can give someone a sense of power over others. Believing in such truths can give one a sense of belonging to a community and allow them to feel accepted. Other people can profit from “believing” these notions as it tends to be the case that strong radical opinions generate online traffic, followers, money etc.

Lies are not just used for malicious reasons. Sometimes we tell lies to make people feel good or protect them. We must tell the truth as often as possible. When you accept things you don’t want or do unwanted favours you are lying. Who are you trying to deceive by accepting these things in your life? You just become miserable. When you have something to say, silence is a lie.

All people are in the condition of wanting to improve. There is no such thing as a 100% human. This is something we should actively acknowledge.

Instead of having vertical (hierarchical) relationships we should have horizontal (equal but not the same) relationships. All other forms of communication are manipulation. Laying on the compliments to your boss or your boss praising you so you will continue good work are all forms of manipulation. We should strive for horizontal relationships.

Desire for recognition.. People that want to be thought well of by others worry about the way people look at them. This is not concern for others. It is nothing but attachment to the self. Do not look for other people’s approval. Do what you ought to do for yourself. It is your task.

You hold the cards to all interpersonal relationships. True Freedom is having someone dislike you for being you. Disliking you is their task not yours.

True freedom is to not roll down the hill as a stone being worn away by other people’s opinions and suggestions. True freedom is pushing on up the slope and forging your own path.

Separation of tasks. Delineate out what is your task and what is someone else’s. Do not interfere with other people’s task and do not let other people encroach on your tasks.

Do not worry if you are not liked. That is someone else’s task. You do not need to do anything for approval. Do it because you ought to do it.

Teleology and Aeteleology. You choose your lifestyle. It is not based on cause and effect as Freud says. All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.