Sofie > Recent Status Updates

IM SORRY IS RYU DEAD????????? DID I MISS THAT OR HAVE THEY JUST BEEN TALKING AROUND IT THE FEW TIMES HE'S BEEN BROUGHT UP BEFORE
or am i falling for the bait here idk but i'm invested i am LOVING this part

i LOVE how itsuomi noticed that yuki wasn't fully in the moment cause she's still a bit nervous, immediately stopped, and then said the room doesn't have the right mood to take the pressure off of her and the situation. they understand each other SO well, in all the little expressions and gestures as well as with their words in SEVERAL languages. this shit is more intimate than most explicit yaoi i've read

this!!!!! is so good!!!!!!!!!! the tension is electric, it feels inevitable that they're gonna take the next step together tonight but that inevitability just makes it even sweeter. also. itsuomi has officially gotten 10 times hotter since dyeing his hair what the FUCK are they putting in these illustrations?????? his EYES his LIPS i am feral

i was sad to see the silver hair go at first but now i feel like he's always had the black hair asdhakjdha he's one of those gorgeous freaks that looks good with any hair color

oh shut the fuck up my heart is about to BURST
i love how itsuomi first bonded with yuki and showed his care for her by learning sign language, and now yuki wants to become even more integrated into his life and understand more about him and his family, so she wants to learn german in order to do that. the miscommunication trope truly hates to see these 2 coming

holy shit i missed rin and kyouya!!!! they're so fucking sweet and i'm glad we got a little insight into how they got together without overloading the story. i love how much itsuomi loves kyouya and how yuki picked up on how he clearly misses him since he's moved in with rin, and i just adore all of these characters and their love for each other and how it spills off the page

it just makes so much objective sense for ilya to be the one to fall first simply bc he's more equipped to acknowledge it, even if he then immediately buries it cause it terrifies him. he's more emotionally intelligent than shane is, maybe bc he grew up in the household he did and maybe bc he grew up queer in russia (probably a combo of both)

ilya likening himself to a cartoon villain because of his accent is so !!!!!!!!!! fucking sad!!!!!! i’m sure that’s another reason why he went with the cocky asshole persona. he already sounds like the bad guy so he might as well act and look the part too. and then compare that to shane’s perfect french, a language that is seen as beautiful and proper and intelligent, of course it makes ilya feel even worse

oh FUCK that detail of andrei knowing how much ilya’s signing bonus was and ilya assuming that that’s the only part of his career he follows. this whole situation is so heartbreaking cause you can really tell how much guilt ilya feels seemingly just for being alive?? the only way he can earn a call from a family member is by providing them with money so of course he's gonna give and give and keep giving

ah yes let’s play another game of “how soon into an ilya pov section does my heart start to hurt” (spoiler it’s almost instantly)

shane being so nervous in the lead-up to the game only for ilya to be the one to falter bc he was distracted TRYING TO DISTRACT SHANE??????? 10/10 no notes
also the “that was something he’d never get back” reminds me of what shane thought after the gym scene. they are both HAUNTED by each other, they are already so completely intertwined with each other’s memories and formative experiences

"plus, he liked them" this entire paragraph about shane's parents and how much he appreciates their support and love is making me so fucking emo what the HELL
and of course he's an only child, that explains quite literally everything

LOVE the difference between shane and ilya's approach to publicity here. shane is so naturally earnest and humble about his skill and wouldn't announce his expectations even if he privately expects to set a certain record. but ilya is taking the approach of being the cocky asshole so he has an built-in protective layer if people are disappointed by any losses or over-promises

"shane was a man of routine" yes i could infer that by the everything about him

the implications of shane saying bye to the closed door. vegas 2014 i see you in our future

of all the explicit things in this chapter i am clutching my pearls the most at shane having the urge to ASK ILYA TO STAY THE NIGHT AND IMAGINING FALLING ASLEEP IN HIS ARMS

“it felt so good that shane forgot to be insulted” i feel like this is gonna be a running theme

terrified being one of the emotions that ilya evokes from shane is !!!!!!!!!! very telling and it's only the first hookup

“he must look ridiculous. rozanov’s expression didn’t suggest that he was watching something ridiculous” THIS!!!!!!! THIS IS SO GREAT!!!! after all his spiraling about his lack of experience, ilya is just staring at him with pure lust and it’s exactly what he needs to reframe his own thinking back to his desires and to get out of his head

“fuck. this was really gay” OH NOW ITS GAY I DIDNT REALIZE

shane saying in his internal monologue that he isn’t sure what “more” he wants and then ilya wordlessly guiding him to that “more” is SO GOOD. he can finally put shapes to all of his formless desires and ilya is right there to show him the way

i swear to god every paragraph of shane’s pov ends with a completely ridiculous sentence where he’s over-explaining his reasoning in a way that makes it so fucking obvious that the real reason is GAY. oh yeah i brushed my teeth and flossed and used mouthwash CAUSE IT’D BE RUDE TO TALK TO SOMEONE WITH BAD BREATH CAUSE WE’RE DEFINITELY JUST GONNA CHAT get the fuck out of here

feeing insane about the parallel of shane closing his eyes during sexual encounters with women vs not being able to take his eyes off of ilya now

.....so wanting to watch has always been their thing cool cool cool

"just another goddamn thing for you to hold over me" WOAH i love how this highlights shane's internal dilemma of not wanting to be attracted to ilya bc that somehow translates to losing to him in yet another way. it's such a teenage way of thinking about sexuality so it makes total sense as the mindset for this repressed hockey player

shane's description of ilya's ass is fucking sending me into the stratosphere he's like "it's objectively a perfect ass why does it make me gay to admire it and maybe also be aroused and think several unholy thoughts"

i giggled and kicked my feet to this scene in the show and i am doing the same exact thing here!!!!! they're just kids with crushes that they don't wanna look in the eye (literally) and they're also in such a fucking absurd situation how could they not laugh
and the parallel of them (or at least shane) then laughing after they hook up!!!! it's just so unreal

kinda hate the doll comment but the pretty part?? yes please
and i love how it makes shane think back to other times that he's been called "pretty boy" as a taunt on the ice so he can acknowledge that ilya saying it feels so different. he just needs the right person to call him pretty so he can start to unpack the toxic masculinity he's learned and feels so trapped by

okay i already knew that the photoshoot was not originally ilya's idea in the book and i think it makes sense cause it's already CLEAR that he's interested in shane vs in the show i think they wanted one last push on that front before the shower scene and first hookup

the double meaning of the sentiment of always being at the top together is so. it’s an acknowledgement that their rivalry is about to truly kick off and that they’ll always be tied and pitted against each other, BUT it’s also comforting??? ilya feels the pressure of his position so acutely and there’s shane telling him with A SINGLE HANDSHAKE that he understands??? what a perfect mix of competitiveness and tenderness