Laesha > Recent Status Updates

“…but I had a hard time believing that a movie star like Gabe Parker actually enjoyed being lectured by a lanky, loudmouthed Jew…”

SURELY I must have missed some context because WTF did she think she was supposed to mention that?😭

“He laughed. It was a great laugh, all low and dark and rich. If chocolate cake had a laugh, it would be that.”

It’s called the Ha💸Ha💸Ha💸 laugh

“It had seemed too easy, so far. When Ilya’s contract had ended with Boston, Ottawa had been all too happy to sign him”

Yeah because no matter how good Ottawa is supposed to be in this universe, they suck irl

Oh no!” Ilya mocked him. “How can I impress Montreal’s fifteenth best player?”

Hey if you have to be a fifteenth best player, might as be Montreal’s

And I will say, ‘Shane Hollander, will you please marry me so I can become Canadian citizen faster?’”

YES ITS LEGAL HERE SO DO ITTTTTT

“Ilya would be on his way to Wherever-the-Fuck, Ontario”
Yeah that’s accurate on pretty much any address in Ontario

“Shane kissed the tips of two fingers and reached out and touched them to the screen. And Ilya’s heart fucking stopped.”

IM SO GLAD I LIVE ALONE BECAUSE OF THE NOISE I JUST MADE!!!

but Ilya had also slipped in an “and on top of everything, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do about it.”

SCREAMING. CRYING. PERFECT STORM

“Toronto.” When Ilya said it, he rolled the “r” slightly and pronounced the second “t.” Shane smiled.

That’s how you know Shane really loves him because a real Canadian would have corrected him by now.

“Ilya put his hand over his mouth to hide his ridiculous smile.”

SAME

“Oh.” Shane let that sink in. “Oh!”

This is Shane Hollander in one sentence

“Shane liked Rose Landry. He did.”
Narrator voice: no he did not

“And Shane left. He realized, when he was back in his room, that they
hadn’t even kissed. He also realized, with horror, that he regretted that.”

He is falling so hard awww asdfghjkl

“pushed images of doctors trying to separate them while all of Rozanov’s teammates watched”

I’M FUCKING HOWLING

I’m having so much fun reading this book

Shane in the middle of sex with a man: fuck this is really gay

BRO U THINK?!😭😭

Hockey and BL between a Russian and a Japanese - the Canadian representation that I want!!

“Oh, my baby! Why didn’t you say you have boyfriend? I was worried you didn’t want to. I will get the best dress, and that ugly Minoo isn’t allowed to come. Actually she can, to see how much more beautiful I am than her.”

Peak ethnic mom behaviour

“Aunty Parvin’s eyebrow-threading lady is friends with Nika, the woman who is making the best tahchin and selling on the WhatsApp, who said Babasheh congratulated her for her accounting executive son’s engagement to you. She was getting a radiation therapy and told Dr. Nasseri about it.”

Yeah sounds about right.

“I’m so embarrassed my vagina hurts.”
No cause why does that makes sense😭

“I can see through. I see you.”

This is so The Archer coded, I’m going to sob.

“Archives Aren’t My Own”

Best chapter title ever or what???

“Even as a fake girlfriend, I seem to need improvement.”

😭😭😭

Please- 😭😭😭

No you don’t understand how good this writing is. I feel unworthy😭

”Because he’s the boss, there’s no stopping his dick
fingers, and that’s why no workplace is ever truly equal.”

This is how I aim to begin my sociology essays