Desiree > Recent Status Updates

“Lila must’ve been a lizard in a previous life, because she liked the thermostat on seventy-six. I preferred it at forty-nine. We settled for seventy-six.” 🤣🤣🤣

“You like me?”
“I shouldn’t have told you any of that. I should go.” “Or you could stay and tell me more about the ways you would fuck me. If that’s what you want, you should do it.”
“It is my birthday.”
“It is.”
“And I’ve been so fucking good this year.”
“I bet you have.” 🤭🤭

My head bumps against the ground and pain explodes all over my back, but hey, he’s dragging me, not anyone else. That’s what I call interest.
🤣🤣🤭🫶🏼

"Are you telling me that you let her drive all the way there knowing that she'd never driven a fucking car before?"
Crypt grins. "She made it in one piece. Our girl is a quick learner."
The blood fae pinches the bridge of his nose. "One day, I'm going to kill you."
"Better make it soon since your sanity's expiration date is quickly approaching."

Crypt is so fucking funny 🤣🤣🤣

“Yeah, well, enjoy her while you can, Snowflake. Because I’m going to charm my mate’s socks—and hopefully panties—right off.”
The professor rolls his eyes.
“My competition is an egotistical manwhore of a dragon, a psychotic dream demon, and a pointy-eared bookworm with trust issues. Something tells me I’ll be just fine.” 🤣🤣

“This class will be good for you. It will prepare you for what’s to come.”
“Did you say come?”
“Sloane, come on.”
“Come on what? Come now? Husband, you can’t just demand it. You have to work for it.”
Jesus. Christ.

"Have you tried talking to him?"
I blink at her. "Talking?"
"Yes. You know... where you use your mouth to create words that describe what's going through your head."
"Sounds weird. Sounds awkward. Don't like it. Not
approved by me."

lol same

He looks at me as if he has nowhere else to be. Like there’s not a single thing he wants to miss.
“You look at people intensely.”
“You’re not people.”
I forget how to breathe.  His words are unfair.  They’re too much. They are exactly enough. 

AAAHHHHHH!!! I’M LOVING THIS!!!

"What did you do to him?"
"Applied some judicious pressure to his testicles. Don't get jealous."
"You should be applying pressure to my testicles," Astaroth muttered.

🤭🤣

"You're an arrogant, volatile prick, and you drive me insane."
"Same.”
"You're a conceited know-it-all."
"Takes one to know one.”
"Your cane sword is tacky, and you have horrible taste in hats.”
"Take that back."
"Make me.”
"Why would I do that when you can just take what you want?"