Jasmine Ferry > Recent Status Updates

HE LIVED!!!!

Michelle Corpora ain’t no way you just killed the fucking dog. GIVE MY BOY KARIM A BREAK

Dude this man’s panic attacks and mental breakdowns and spirals are so beautifully written like you can feel the confusion and fear dripping off every word and nothing feels real anymore just chefs kiss

“She let the pacmen out and ate me alive” SORRY GO HOME YOUR HYPERSEXUAL TRAUMATIZED FREAK I CANT 💀💀💀💀💀

The stripper loves me final boss

“What I mean to say is that the weird encounter with Tatiana seems to have helped me somehow.”

*ginormous sigh* alright boys prepare yourselves

LETS GO LESBIANS 🏃🏃

Oh Rae and Karim bouta be the best most chaotic duo on planet earth I feel it

Neff you are so cooked girl

“Neff opened her eyes to see Prince Meryamun—“

NEFF!!!! RUNNNNN!!!!!

Thinking about your BROTHER during sex Sitamun LOCK THE FUCK IN

“And still you come.”
“And still I come.”

Ayo

NOOOOOO SHE ATE THE POMEGRANATE THE SYMBOLISMMMMMM SHES COOOKKEDDDD

“Perhaps you’ll never have a sister, but you can call me brother, if you wish.”

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO

I love how Johnny has just completely given up translating any of the German now 😭😭 these poor editors bro

Alright! Johnny! I did not need that passage where you (in meticulous detail) described the way a woman fingered your asshole while you masturbated and you came all over her face. Not really sure that was necessary to publish buddy. Please for the love of god get a diary

You know how I know? BECAUSE NO REAL WOMAN WOULD SAY TO A RANDOM MAN LIKE WHO JUST CAME TO HER OFFICE FOR A FEW PAPERS WOULD STRIP DOWN NAKED AND SAY “I won’t let you fuck me, but you can come on me.” NONE. ZERO. ZILCH. NADA.

You know what Johnny? I bet you haven’t even fucked any of these women! I bet none of them are real and you haven’t left your apartment in weeks! Ashley isn’t real, Tatiana isn’t real, NONE OF THIS IS FUCKING REAL

Except it wasn’t gas. It was milk. Only there was no milk. There was no gas. No leak either….A tree fell on me. So heavy, it took a crane to lift it. Not even a crane could lift it. There are no trees on my block. This has got to stop.”

JOHNNY TRUANT TELL THE TRUTH CHALLENGE LEVEL FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE

“In fact these days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Puck. Puck. Puck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. —“

You really have
.
A way with
.
Words there
.
Johnny Truant

Damnnnn Navidson your girl cheated on you with Wax….you know what that means….you have to get back at her somehow….oh hey Holloway what are you doing here? Haha that’s so funny whatttt

“Gloves were not an option in this kind of fighting.”

Oh don’t you dare Johnny Truant. I remember that line. You are not slick.

“Since Holloways plan is to spend at least five nights inside…”

😏😏 five nights, you say?

“I can’t tell you how much I’d like to deviate that fucker’s [Holloway’s] septum.”

Girl just have a threesome nothing can go wrong 🙏

“Ryan Murray in his book calls Navidson’s monastic habits “a sure sign of unresolved Oedipal anxieties, repressed homosexuality, and a disturbed sense of self”

What 😭😭😭 god forbid a man stay loyal to his wife otherwise he MUST be gay

Eyhecbh

“I’m afraid. It is hungry. It is immortal. Worse, it knows nothing of whim.”

Get this man a psychiatrist NOW

“Recently though I did get this crazy idea: I decided to go out on a limb and show her that sappy little bit I wrote about her—you know with all that coastal north’s and August-sun scent of pine trees stuff”

NONONNOONNONONONNONO DO NOT SO THAT BROTHER PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT THATS SO EMBARRASSING

Y’know Johnny just has this certain charm about him that makes me go “now what the hell are you gonna get up to today my guy”

“Out of all the footage he personally shoots, there rarely exists a shake, tremble, jerk, or even a case of poor framing.”

HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT????? HES BLIND