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As important as self-awareness is, it’s equally important to recognize that it occurs in the context of your relationship with yourself. And many people are too hard on themselves. Just as you would attend to a hurt child by being nurturing, it is extremely helpful to approach yourself in a compassionate manner.

Basically, life is not just about getting rid of suffering. It’s about expanding our potential while embracing feelings of joy and well-being.

Addictive behaviors are just temporary fixes that don’t last because they don’t get to the root of the problem. Once the “high” is gone, the negative feelings come back.

Whatever you feel ashamed or guilty about, don’t let it separate you from the ones you love.

Righteous indignation, anger, pain, guilt — mostly coming down to feeling wounded, misunderstood, discounter, unappreciated. See me! Respect my wants, my needs. It all seems reasonable. But it’s a balancing act with different views, wounds and sometimes a bottomless pit of pain that shows up when you least expect it.

As we’ve seen, the sensations of an experience stored in our memory networks can produce feelings of pain. They can also be responsible for us not feeling anything — even those feelings we’d like to have.

The good news is that it’s not too late for any of us to “re-parent” ourselves with the proper assistance.

Unfortunately, feelings of lack of safety and security can be based on the fact that we didn’t feel sufficiently valued and protected as children. We were left feeling that we weren’t good enough and worried that other people would negatively judge us.

It’s through our parents’ loving care that we learn the ways of the world and that we are valuable beings able to achieve our goals in life. It is through being loved that we learn to love in return. Except it doesn’t always work out that way.

It’s also important to remember that sometimes it’s what didn’t happen that is causing problems.

You can’t eliminate unhappiness from your life completely. Things happen, things change. Emotions may momentarily come and go. The question is: How pervasive are the feelings and how long do they last? Meaning, is the sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, loneliness, shyness and so forth temporary and for a good and obvious reason, or is it the water I’m swimming in most of the time? Is it the weather or the climate?

The question is: Are we being guided appropriately by our memories, or are they pushing us to do things we shouldn’t do — and preventing us from doing things we should?

The bottom line is that regardless of how we were brought up, we are not victims and our problems are not a sign of weakness. Some of the most gloried heroes, those who risk themselves for others, who faced all odds to bring someone to safety, are the ones who can needlessly suffer the most internally through guilt about who they couldn’t save or what they couldn’t accomplish.

“To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.”
- Ecclesiates 3:1

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
- Proverbs 4:23

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
- Proverbs 12:18

Using gradual exposure requires patience and perseverance. It is typical to feel some discomfort and worry during the process, but with each successful exposure, you can build resilience and acquire more control over your anxious thoughts and actions, including the ones that show up in your relationship.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” - Proverbs 55:22

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lore. For he shall be like a tree planter by the waters, Which spreads out its root by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit.”
- Jeremiah 17:7-8

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls our lives.”

Fear of rejection or abandonment: Relationship anxiety can manifest as a deep-seated fear of being rejected or abandoned by your partner. This fear may lead to clingy behavior, possessiveness, or an overwhelming need for reassurance and validation.

Anxiety often coexists with perfectionism and a fear of failure. We put immense pressure on ourselves to meet unrealistically high standards, scared of making mistakes or falling short. This fear of failure causes overthinking as we constantly examine every move we make, striving for perfection and fearing the outcome of any mistake.

Everyone is a potential winner. Some people are disguised as losers, don’t let their appearances fool you.

The best minute you spend is the one you invest in people

Help people reach their full potential by catching them doing something right

Effective managers manage themselves and the people they work with so that both the organization and the people profit from their presence.

While not all change is good, staying the same can’t be all good either. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

The Seven Bs of Relationship Building
Be real.
Be interested (not just interesting).
Be a better listener.
Be empathetic.
Be honest.
Be helpful.
Be prompt.

“There comes a special moment in everyone’s life, a moment for which that person was born. That special opportunity, when he seizes it, will fulfill his mission — a mission for which he is uniquely qualified. In that moment, he finds greatness. It is his finest hour.”