Em > Recent Status Updates

“He had a cardiac arrest” yea i’m done omg

“I commemorate the name to memory” lord give me strength

Not one to read while eating lunch...

“Ariadne was in love with the darkness of the labyrinth” I’m about to DNF this shit seriously

Camille
Killed her husband
Whacked him
(Literally)

I wanna square up with this f*ckwad of a husband

Bury your gays I guess

The audiobook narrator doesn’t know how to pronounce “debacle” 💀

(Talking about old photos) “men with the color of raw meat” so like, pink hair??? In the 1800’s/1900’s? Has Alix seen raw meat???

OK some really well explained investment advice 🙌🏻

Wow I just really don’t care about any of this

My lunch break ended at the worst possible cliffhanger

Just give Orka the Epstein list and she’ll take care of it

Did one of the (four) love interests really just say “Oh fiddlesticks”?

Oh geez oh man we’re just getting right to it huh

Girl i’m not gonna make it, it’s like a shitty fanfic

She’s just too hot, it’s a curse! Every man who sees her goes “AWOO-GAH”. It’s soooooo annoying!

He nicknames her “wildcat” when she’s literally a stereotypical “proper” English lady

YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL! Whoa, oh-oh! THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!

She doesn’t work out and she only wears comfy clothes because she’s NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLSSSS

She’s not like other girls!!!!

What the actual f*** is going on here

So far the first chapter is giving bad 1D fanfiction a la 2013

Friend drags her out to the club, she doesn’t want to be there and complains the whole time, isn’t wearing the right kind of footwear, gets noticed by the guy who this event is for

Is she going to get sold to him next

If a guy talked to me the way Kage talks I’d be cringing. Hell, I’m cringing listening to this audiobook. But he’s fictional so we’ll give him a chance.

😒😒😒

Oh Vuk, the man you are

Shits going DOWN