Risa > Recent Status Updates

this is the weirdest book i’ve ever read. the ending was so disturbing and gross but ig that was the point?

more than halfway thru and it feels like the plot is finally starting, the pacing of this book is a little weird and i’m kinda confused where amane and saku stand on anything. i think amane is just as confused as i am, tho.

just realized my edition of this book is numbered different lol i'm not 106% done lmao

cried at jess meeting butch al again. ruth and jess's relationship is so nice. seeing a t4t couple in a book from the 90s about things that happened in the 40s-70s is refreshing. i love ruth being accepted by her family in her own way

if i was jess and saw theresa at the grocery store i'd simply need to crash out. i don't rlly understand what happened with edna but i guess neither does jess

theresa :(((((

i love the solidarity with native women in the factories. the baseball scene had me STRESSED but it's nice to see some good things happen. this book is a hard read with a lot of assault but it makes the happy moments feel really rewarding.

the sudden change in Yuu's attitudes towards Natsuki and Tomoya confused me, but it makes sense considering he feels lost about what to do with himself outside of the voices of mainstream society and having a family. his choice to follow Tomoya is following a different voice, one that is loud and confident and understands Yuu's feelings of separation from "earthlings".

thoughts: oh!
there's sm incest in this book bruh natsuki's husband needs HELPPP

main reaction so far : oh!
cw mentions of sexual assault & incest !

the descriptions of sex and assault from natsuki's perspective are so haunting, esp bc of how devoid of feeling they are. her worldview is influenced by the lack of parental love within her life AND neurodivergence. all her descriptions are so anatomical.

mild spoilers - up until this point i wanted benji to have something with nick because i cannot get over what theo did to benji but at this point...fuck nick bro FUCKKK NICK. the descriptions of benji's cheek were so nasty & vivid i love the way andrew joseph white writes gore. the only thing that confuses me is why would benji's interaction with the girl fuck over the alc with the vangaurd? SOOO good so far.

surprised i didn't burst out sobbing tbh

i love how Keiko isn't uncomfortable with her autistic traits just because they exist but because of societal discomfort and fear of being an outcast again after building up her carefully constructed persona. i get so uncomfortable reading at point meant to be uncomfortable that i am SCAREDDD (affectionate) to read her horror novels.