Brandon Baer > Recent Status Updates

Stephen, you’ve said “pimp shades” at least twice in the last like.. two pages. I’m sorry but I have to cancel you now 😔

It’ll be a cold day in hell before I invite a cop into my house to share a beer.

I picked up the fucking book, yall. We are so back

This is somehow the third “Steve Holt” I’ve encountered, 2 made up and 1 in real life

Oh Digger, you sure have a way with words 🥴

Y’all I’m not gonna lie, I got a SteamDeck I’m so cooked 😭😭😭

Homie, how many people in New England have metal plates in their head? Because they’re all in this book, I stg

40-year-old virgin masturbates with huge fucking vibrator, more at 11:00.

“…but her fried eggs looked like broiled assholes.” Peak.

Also, how is a guy named “Butch” nicknamed “Monster”? Butch is a damn nickname and its rings pretty close to “Monster.” Just unnecessary

How is there still 45% of this shit leftttttttt??? WRAP IT UP

C’monnnnn, touch the flying saucer. All the COOL KIDS are touching the flying saucer. C’monnnnnnnn

I’m confused, am I supposed to be cheering for the alcoholic, nuclear-power doomsaying, wife-shooting loser?

Tehran mentioned, how timely

Guys I’m back on YuGiOh so the updates are gonna be infrequent again 🥴

Was absolutely not expecting the East St Louis slander from Mr Thompson

Reading this is the equivalent of listening to a full album on shuffle

Oh this is where the JFK obsession comes into play?

“The tips of my fingers felt like pieces of furniture” yeah ok Steve imma need you to take that simile back to the lab and come back with a better one

I think I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, this bit long as he’ll

There’s so much more passive aggression than I remember lmao

The reader started this book, forgot that Frank really hates using the word “and” after a comma.

Sorry I haven’t been on Goodreads, I’ve legitimately been too distracted playing YuGiOh

“Bill ran the place with his three tosspot sons. Bill was seventy, looked eighty, and could still drink like twenty-three when the mood was on him. Billy and I had taken the Scout in …” Bill and Billy are two diffERENT CHARACTERS WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS, STEVE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYUYYYYYYYYY

HOOOOOONK SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOONK SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO😴😴😴😴😴😴😴

Okay really annoying that everyone is like “Peter has everything to gain from murdering his father, he’ll become king” and not “Thomas has everything to gain from framing his brother for his father’s murder, he’ll become king” the connection is right there and I’m to believe no one fucking makes it?!