Michael Clupper > Recent Status Updates

I hope to god this sticks the landing cause thus far it’s one of the best books I’ve read in the last 5 years

Ayyyyy it’s Greensleeves during Girl’s Night! We’re back, baby

Too tired to keep whining about this book for now. I’m this far along.

“This is my shocked face”

A line of dialogue that appears unironically

The tasteless melodrama of the music in this audiobook really lends itself to the tasteless melodrama of every other aspect of this audiobook

I can already tell that this is going to be the best thing I’ll read all year

Dear graphic audiobook producers of the world:

If you’re going to randomly kill off a supporting character, don’t immediately precede that scene with “Greensleeves” playing in the background

Idk if I can take this book seriously if the bad guys are from a place called Atlantea. Y’all couldn’t have come up with a name that didn’t sound exactly like Atlantis? And make them something other than vampires?

The exposition of this book is structured like every bad History Channel documentary you’ve ever seen, when they run out of content by the end of the first episode so they simply recapitulate the same content over and over, then ask endless hypotheticals: “will there be something interesting after *this* commercial break?”

No. No there will not be.

Always interesting when fantasy authors introduce fantastical elements like “bloodstones” and “Ascended” but also don’t bother to invent new foods or ailments or otherwise. Like “the cold”, “influenza”? Eating bacon and hot chocolate? Is this a mystical realm or 20th century United States?

This goofy-ass book is going to try to pull off some religious commentary. Brother, eughhh

Bro “Hawk Flynn?” “Tawny Lion”? What are these names

I’d kill to be in the room with the audiobook producer as he/she gave notes on what noises to make for this full Graphic Audio exploration of a bedroom encounter

Oh jeez we already have the obligatory pet name for our protagonist and ofc it’s “Princess”

Alright so we just met a startlingly handsome guard with the unfortunate name of “Hawk Flynn”. He’s chiseled, tall, and is described as having predatory grace, beautiful eyes, and hidden agony. A little on the nose, but for sure our male main love interest.

What is it with this genre and the overuse of the word “utterly”?

Brooo the mysterious bad guy has a nickname and that nickname is “The Dark One”. Can’t wait for “The Dark One” to be super noble and misunderstood and also our male main love interest

Oh really, Poppy? Are you the “Maiden”? The “Chosen”? Maybe reiterate this several more times in case the reader has forgotten

Also I see we’re *really* leaning into Puritan-era themes of chastity and shame

Oh boy, it’s a full Graphic Audio production so we are just vomiting exposition to the soft plucking of a tavern harp. Forget “Show, Don’t Tell,” when you can have “Tell, With Harp.”

I can’t believe I’m doing this.