Jadyn Kavanagh > Recent Status Updates

I see a hundred emotions play out over Amanda’s face as I wait for her to reply. “Oh God, Damian. God. I just… why was life so much simpler without you in it? Sadder. Emptier. Lonelier. But, fuck, so much easier. What is it about you? Why is there always, always something?”

Black rage starts to build at the base of my spine and I reflexively lock out my finger joints, lacing them together and pulling them apart. The feel of the bones cracking restores me to calm. Now is not the time to get angry. No time is the time to get angry; that is another thing I’ve learned. Anger is a derailer. It never solves anything, ever.

PERIOD

“I like your hair white. Is that from your dad too?”

“Yes, in fact it is. He was quite the silver fox.”

“And now so are you.”

“I suppose I am.” I make my voice soft and sweetly surprised, as if the concept of seeing myself as physically alluring has never occurred to me. “Except without the filthy narcissism and casual cruelty,” I add, reminding Amanda of my dark and traumatizing past.

I have learned so much about people. I made huge mistakes with Amanda, but I never allowed her to fall out of love with me. That is the biggest lesson I have learned. Don’t let them hate you. Once they hate you, there’s no way back, and there always, always needs to be a way back.

he is so unlikable.

Because meeting Amanda was such a long, long time ago, I was a young man and I was not as slick as I am now, I hadn’t learned the ways of the world, how to navigate riptides, how to manage sudden changes to the script. I have learned so much about life in the succeeding twenty-nine years.

"Where would I go?"

"That's not my problem, Jonathan. You came into my life from nowhere, I suppose you'll just return to nowhere."

YEA JONATHAN THE NOMAD.

She's ten years younger than Jennifer Aniston, who doesn't appear to have any problem keeping herself in shape. I want to tell her to put less butter on her toast, but I can't because that would be unpleasant, and I am a very pleasant man and a very good husband.

yea you keep telling yourself that. prick. (i know i'm about to eat my words)

hey so if nick radcliffe doesn't stop sending notes, he'll be the next one to "die mysteriously"

If I did not kiss her on her lips in the morning, then she would wonder… and I don’t want her to wonder. If she starts to wonder at the little things, then she will eventually start to wonder at the bigger things. So, I manage the little things forensically to make sure that everything is the same. Until it isn’t.

WAIT HE’S MESSED UP I LOVE THIS.

don't let me down, lisa jewell

lynn. stop ragebaiting. make the stupid fmc pick someone. please.

what is it with this author and tatas

Never a dull moment.

no this book IS one big dull moment.

She took one of those slow, deep breaths that women took so they wouldn’t go nuclear on someone who usually deserved it.

best line in the book so far

riley's mental illness(es) are making her such an unlikable character PLEASE

Now that it’s become such a strain, I almost find myself ready to let it go. Not totally, and you know I might go back on that tomorrow, but today that is how I feel.

OUCH

ow that it’s become such a strain, I almost find myself ready to let it go. Not totally, and you know I might go back on that tomorrow, but today that is how I feel.

OUCH

Postscript: I am reading with greater difficulty now. Trying to get through Pride and Prejudice one more time. Sometimes I can see enough to write; for instance, today it’s rather clear, and sometimes it’s nearly impossible. I thought when I started to lose my sight in this way, when it actually began to slip away, I would cling to it with all my might, but that isn’t the way I feel now.

Just as a summer afternoon is gorgeous from inside air-conditioning, and you step into the day, hot, muggy, miserable, a postcard of France with all the lavender and sunflowers, I imagine, is far more alluring than the place itself. It’s such a hassle to fly these days with the security and all the regulations about the size of bag and transferring the creams and contact lens solution into the small bottles.

Love is not supposed to be beautiful. It’s supposed to be a raw, gritty struggle that forces you to face the most vulnerable parts of yourself, so that when the good times come, you can savor and enjoy them, fully appreciate what they’re worth. Otherwise, you take it all for granted. Fuck the list. It’s time for the endgame.

dude.

yea i just feel like this isn't for me... the dnf shelf looks so enticing BUT my brain is telling me to keep it at 0

i know that loves makes someone do crazy things, but PERSONALLY, i wouldn’t fall in love with an fbi agent that’s after me 🤩🤩

s.t. abby revealed all their cards on the first page...

In his arms I’m reminded that happiness doesn’t need to be shrouded in guilt. Love doesn’t need to be shrouded in disbelief. Sometimes it just is. And that’s enough. I take his hand in mine and we walk toward the door for the dresser, our first piece of furniture in our new apartment. I know that I’m home. I can’t wait to fill it with the heaviest furniture I can find.

All I know is that this matters. He matters. I matter. I let the feeling rush through me like a ripple in the water as I kiss the beautiful boy who makes every match in my body light on fire. The first breeze of fall brushes past us as the oppressive summer heat melts away. I am going to be just fine.

WAIT SO CUTE

Outside, I look up at his face, his kind, open, gentle, charming face. His eyes, his hair blowing in the wind…I couldn’t imagine it better if I tried. I don’t know where we go from here or what happens next. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a passion or if it was always an arbitrary goal that never really mattered.

“I loved Gabe,” I said. My throat felt tight. I searched for the breath in my chest. There it was, and there we were. A glint, a flare, an aurora between our palms, a secret show and we always know the password. Loved. Wrong tense. I corrected myself. “I love Gabe.” And I opened, tender and free.

redeeming quality here. but, it took too long.

It comes in waves. Sometimes a cliché is true. And sometimes it requires an addendum. I didn’t dive into any bodies of water, but I did return to my life. Without Gabe.

—there is the feeling of driving over a humpbacked bridge, with no road on the other side to catch her—“he’s not kind.” She sees the vet does not understand and tries again. “I mean, I think he is an abusive man. To me.”

“I need help,” she says and feels her bottom lip begin to go. He reaches for a tissue box on the windowsill, practiced in dealing with his clients’ emotions. She takes the tissue but doesn’t use it. If she stops, she won’t go on. “I have no money, no phone, no friends. And my husband is…”