Ashley > Recent Status Updates

“It’s not over between us.” Ahhhhh

I already love them so much

I’m already loving Ari and O’Doul

Oldest daughter = “involuntary cruise director.” The truest shit I’ve ever heard

What??!! Her sister?!

“She wanted me to want her. That’s all she wanted.”

I know we’re all rooting for Azriel and Elain but I feel like her and Lucien could be so good together

What the actual fuck is going on?

“I’m not mad. I’m sad this happened to us. And I’m sad it’s all because we’re gay. Why does no one fucking value us?” Oh my goddddd

John Wick would have nothing on me if someone killed my cat

Hell hath no fury like an older sister whose younger sibling has been scorned. I’m loving this so far

Sylvia and Henry!! This is about to be so good

There’s only one little mouse and it’s not you, Clover, no offense

I know I wanted Grandma Anne to die but now that she is I actually feel bad

“Boyfriends who were serial killers were still boyfriends.” Girl, what?

“What kind of 90 year old lady doesn’t have at least 20 vases tucked around the house?”

I have a vase shelf in my living room…

I would dump Lex for Adam so fast…

I need a single daddy done right 🤞

“I hadn’t cheated on you in over a year” has to be the dumbest thing a man has ever said to defend himself

It’s giving two star backsliding behavior

Coco, sweetheart, I already have concerns. He cheated on you in college, but you gave him a second chance, during which you two got married in Vegas, and he freaked out and left you immediately after. So why the fuck would you give him a third chance now? You’re planning a mafia daughter’s wedding so just have her dad kill him for you…problem solved

It’s giving John Logan and Grace and I’m here for it!!

Oh HELL no. Halle, my girl, don’t worry I’ve got your back

Then break the fuck up!!!!

At this point I would just kill him and be done with it

Then what’s the point? This is infuriating

What the actual fuck? I’m so confused right now

“I promise to never let you sit alone in the dark.” 🥹

“He kissed me like he’d be my husband one day.” Ahhhhh!!!!! This is too cute I can’t handle it

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we may have our first five spice read of the year