Vi > Recent Status Updates

I don't actually care about any of these people

Oh, so you're kind of a terrible person.

So magical pistol?

Why does this book hate any woman who isn't Bella?

Your big heroic moment was all for naught and actually made you look stupid.

You made your sacrifice play, and the love of your eternity is over here giving an "exasperated sigh" about it.

This is all so stupid and screwed up

You know what maybe Jacob and Edward should hook up.

Why do people like Alice at all? She's a materialistic cow.

Haha Bella you got a different kind of fucked last night.

Bella, your practically begging for sex is embarrassing.

Girl if you're too embarrassed to tell him you want his hard diamond cock then you're not mature enough for it.

Ah Bella muttering about the third wife in her sleep. So she'll totally be stabbing herself during the battle to emulate that story.

The animosity between vampires and werewolves was already kind of gross because it's just based in nothing more than fantastical racism. But it gives me extra ick when you remember all vampires are white and all the werewolves are natives.

Oh well that was very unsettling.

Cool cool cool so you lied in order to join the Confederate army earlier than you should have been able to.

Bella would be enamored by a nameless woman whose greatest accomplishment was killing herself.

I could start a drinking game from the use of 'russet skin'

Ah more creepy imprinting.

...his face blank with shock."

I...Umm...What?

Defeating him with the power of kissing

We can't let him hurt Molly, but that other guy? Fuck him I guess.

"They look like goths," I replied.
"And what is the center of goth culture?" Gabriel said.
Ive looked at him, her eyes wide. "Death."

Pffffft. They determine they're going to be at the cemetery but my answer was going to be Spencers circa 2002.

Bethany crying and whining about being told everything ends when just a chapter or so ago she was thinking about how one day human kind will end and everything turn to dust. Like girl you are already aware of this

Is the plot about to be Bethany having sex and losing her divinity and just breaking everything?

If you have to whisper it and call it the 's word' and then slowly spell it out like you're embarrassed you're not ready for sex. The fact that we have a whole chapter called 'The S Word' is just cringe worthy.

Penis. Just say penis. If you can't say penis then maybe you shouldn't be having your characters discuss sex as they are clearly too immature to be having it.

While I'm sure it's probably that deep, but that is just a typical love poetry cliche.

"Jake was eighteen and entitled to make a play for whoever he liked."

Uh. No.

So you know you can have sex, but I have to ask why did God bother giving you reproductive organs in your human form?