Nika > Recent Status Updates

Поэты, по-моему, только и пишут, что об униженных женщинах. Будто если мы не плачем и не ползаем в ногах, то и рассказывать не о чем

Как добреешься, сразу позвони, только не говори, что она умерла, мне не вынести такого горя… ох, убила бы ее!

Displacement is a bitch, isn’t it? We all use defense mechanisms to deal with anxiety, frustration or unacceptable impulses, but what’s fascinating about them is that we aren’t aware of them in the moment

I think if you worry too much about the details you might miss the big picture

How long do you think the sentence for this crime should be? A year? Five? Ten?
Many of us torture ourselves over our mistakes for decades, even after we’ve genuinely attempted to make amends. How reasonable is that sentence?

Therapy is about understanding the self that you are. But part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself - to let go of the limiting stories you’ve told yourself about who you are so that you aren’t trapped by them, so you can live your life and not the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life

Before successful therapy it’s the same damn thing over and over. After successful therapy it’s one damn thing after another

Peace. It doesn’t mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in midst of those things and still be calm in your heart

There is a difference between self-blame and self-responsibility, which is corollary to something Jack Kornfield said “A second quality of mature spirituality is kindness. It’s based on a fundamental notion of self-acceptance”. In therapy we aim for self-compassion (Am I human?) versus self-esteem (a judgment: Am I good or bad?)

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” - she’d ask, and I’d reassure her that everyone who to therapy worries that what they think or feel might not be “normal” or “good”, and yet it’s our honesty with ourselves that helps us make sense of our lives with all of their nuances and complexity. Repress those thoughts and you’ll likely behave badly. Acknowledge them, and you’ll grow

I’ve lost more than my relationship in the present. I’ve lost my relationship in the future. We tend to think that the future happens later, but we are creating it in our minds every day. When the present falls apart, so doesn’t the future we had associated with it. But if we spend the present trying to fix the past or control the future, we remain stuck in place, in perpetual regret

If we don’t accept the notion that there is no redo, much as we try to get our parents/siblings/partners to fix what happened years ago, our pasts will keep us stuck. Changing our relationship to the past is a staple of therapy

The things we protest against the most are often the very things we need to look at

It’s ok to not know
Don’t judge your feelings. Notice them. Use them as your map. Don’t be afraid of the truth

An interesting paradox of the therapy process. In order to do their job, therapists try to see patients as they really are, which means noticing their vulnerabilities and entrenched patterns and struggles. Patients, of course, want to be helped, but they also want to be liked and admired. In other words, they want to hide their vulnerabilities and entrenched patterns and struggles

One of the most important steps in therapy is helping people take responsibility for their current predicaments.
Often people carry around the belief that the majority of their problems are circumstantial or situational - which is to say, external. And if the problems are caused by everyone and everything else, by staff out there, why should they bother to change themselves?

Buried in their minds is the sensation of overcoming their frustrations and entering the cycle of accelerated returns. In moments of doubts, the memory of the past experience rises on the surface. Filled with trust in the process, they trudge on well past the point at which others slow down or mentally quit

Almost all of them had the same had the same talent level as he did. The difference is not simply a matter of determination, but more of trust and faith. Many of those who succeed in life have had the experience in their youth of having mastered some skill.

Try to revert to a childlike feeling of inferiority - the feeling that others know much more than you and that you are dependent upon them to learn and safely navigate your apprenticeship. You drop all of your preconceptions about an environment or field, any lingering feeling of smugness

Most people wait too long to take this step, generally out of fear. It’s always easier to learn the rules and stay within your comfort zone. Often you must force yourself to initiate such actions or experiments BEFORE YOU THINK YOU ARE READY

Too often we make a separation in our lives - there is work and there is life outside work, where we find real pleasure and fulfillment. Work is often seen as a means for making money so we can enjoy the second life that we lead

Among his various possible beings each man always finds one which is his genuine and authentic being. The voice which calls him to that authentic being is what we call vocation. But the majority of the men devote themselves to silencing that voice if vocation and refusing to hear it. They mange to make a noise within themselves..to distract their attention in order not to hear it

What we lack most in the modern world is a sense of a larger purpose to our lives.
We human beings must build our own world. Without a sense of direction provided to us we tend to flounder. We don’t know how to fill up and structure our time. We are perhaps not conscious of this emptiness, but it infects us in all kind of ways

About 2600 years ago the Ancient Greek poet Pindar wrote “Become who you are by learning who you are”

Something that exists in quantum reality begins to exist in everyday reality trough our observation of it. Our attention collapses the wave of possibility into a single point

Synchronicity isn’t just a matter of perception or awareness. It’s also a physical phenomenon - something that really happens in the world

“We’ve spent all these years (school, university) trying to figure out what the teacher wants, and trying to learn the ideas we’re suppose to understand. And after so much time worrying about what we’re supposed to thing, we don’t know what we think”
She pointed to the irony that f becoming more and more educated while becoming less and less able to trust ourselves as knowers

But there was nothing in psychology that accounted for what I was experiencing personally and clinically. There was no model that adequately described or explained the lift and ease I felt when my inner and outer life synced up - a buoyancy that came not from getting what I wanted but from suddenly seeing my place in the world anew

I still had a long journey ahead, full of unknowns. But I didn’t feel anymore that I was alone. I could sense that I was being held with support and caring by others along the path

Back in the city my thoughts were fractured and jumpy. But here, my mind didn’t feel like static and particles. It was one wave. One expanse