Dead Inside > Recent Status Updates

“It was old blood, decay, and the unmistakable sharpness of raw flesh, clinging to the air oppressively.”

“You’re not me! You’re not us! You fucker! Fucking fuck you fucker!”

“Talking to him felt like talking to God, but also to myself, which raised questions about my mental state, but that wasn’t anything to think too deeply on.”

“All I can do is listen and nod my head and pretend I understand all about cultural variants, and neo-Boulean mathematics, and post-symbolic logic, and I feel more and more stupid, and when you leave the apartment, I have to stare in the mirror and scream at myself”

“I’m not concentrating on anything in particular, just reading a lot of fiction now—Dostoevski, Flaubert, Dickens, Hemingway, Faulkner—everything I can get my hands on—feeding a hunger that can’t be satisfied.”

“You, you and you, he said, pointing at three of us, are nothing more than input signals to a single consciousness swimming in a god created void.”

“Where everything comes into alignment like the spinning of a top, gravity and propulsion marrying to keep a person and those to share these moments with turning in a true orbit preceding the inevitable wobble and fall.”

Was going to hell a threat that made people do the “right thing” simply to avoid going to the big bad furnace? If so, did those people do good out of true desire, or from mortal terror?

“Few of us want to die. But death provides our lives with structure. As an end point, death gives meaning and significance to time. If time becomes insignificant because our lives are endless, our existence surrenders its value. We become adrift in time.”

“The way they wolf whistled at every piece of ass who sashayed past the building site, as if that taxed the limits of their imagination as to how far they could get with a beautiful, sophisticated woman.”

“She’s where I wanted to be, and I’m ashamed to be jealous of her, but what stings even more is the knowledge that I’ll probably never see her again.”

“I suppose I should be curious about the kind of stuff they’re injecting into my system, but I find that I don’t care.”

“I side-eye my phone and take another Xanax. The fact that I apparently have an imaginary psychiatrist can wait.”

“There was before, and there was after, and trying to make sense out of duration between the two was a fast track to madness.”

“Part of the whole not being depressed and anxious and having false memories thing was supposed to be embracing cautious optimism.”

“I know how to feed the fucking turtle.”

“His best option was to cultivate a focus so intense that it drove out the awareness of emotion, even where it couldn’t exorcise the emotions themselves.”

“She’ll never fly again. Her and her ugly feathers. I’ll throw her off the roof, and I’ll watch her fall, fall, fall. Fall forever, I hope. I hope she falls forever.”

“Tragically, he would never analyze data or jerk off to his substantial collection of Hentai ever again, but what blew out of Mark’s skull and decorated the ground beside him wasn’t brain matter. It was bloody pumpkin seeds tangled in stringy orange guts, like the innards of a jack-o’-lantern.”

“None of us are okay. That’s all right. We don’t have to be. It’s all right to be fucked up right now.”

“The grammar fit into channels worn by a million other grammars. Analogies came together with a depth so profound it approached sentience without ever quite reaching it.”

“Heaven was a nice day, in a nice town, with nice people, and everything was fine. Nothing but fine. Every second, every hour, of every day, of every year, until the end of fucking time. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine—“

“We split a cheap bottle of wine, watched Super Troopers, and then she asked me to choke her and call her a dirty whore while we fucked for an hour straight on my couch.”

“He didn’t have to think about his failed marriage, or his teenage son who ignored his calls, or the fact that his job was the only thing he cared about anymore.”

“It feels like… like rotten, vile faith—like buzzing flies and depression.”

“What’s wrong?” “I’m freaking the fuck out, that’s what.”

“The tree shepherds from the Lord of the Rings books could take DAYS Just to say good morning.”

“LYYYYYYYLAAAAA!”

“Nasty fellows Botflies, the larva hatches out waits for host to walk by, latches on and climbs inside, mouth, nose, anus, open wound, they don’t discriminate.”

“Maybe he was committing some unnatural sex acts with the chickens.”