Lily > Recent Status Updates

I’d share another quote but I feel like I’m highlighting half the book. 😅

“Parisian perfectionists want to be perfectly liked, an “achievement” other types of perfectionists don’t prize. Even when everything else is going exactly the way they’d choose, when a Parisian perfectionists is experiencing difficulty connecting to someone with whom they want to connect, it can all feel for naught.”

“Movements don’t emerge because everyone suddenly decides to face the same direction at once. They rely on social patterns that begin as the habits of friendship, grow through the habits of communities, and are sustained by new habits that change participants sense of self.”

“His male member”: not all men have “members” and not all people with “members” are men.

“his buttocks… will be, so full, tight, and round, and do fair and white”: are we just ignoring that non-white folks exist?

Chapter 5 is thus far one of my favorites. It discusses some of the “what” (the “how” seems to be discussed later.

One note: “Although physically he could fight you off and escape the punishment, that choice must be unthinkable to him.” All dynamics are about choice and commitment. Me, at nearly 50% of my Partner’s weight, made a decision to be engaged in this dynamic. I also wouldn’t escape.

I find this book to be a bit confusing and it seems to tilt back and forth between holding true to what it said previously.

On Page 4 it states that FD dynamics are based in reality but then later on page 14 it's discussing how the "mistress persona" often becomes one's "real life" persona.

There are bits that I agree with (and that I think work in any dynamic) though.

A few intro notes: this books states if focuses of “Domestic Discipline”. I feel like not all “female dominance” covers that. So I feel like this book is miss titled and outright gives a false representation of the contents.

Forging ahead!

Our brains take in the information we get and then form “truths” about which boundaries will best protect us and get us what we need.

We may then go on to spend the rest of our lives suffering from the bad boundaries we formed based on these outdated “truths.” We don’t realize that what we’ve assumed to be simple facts of life are actually just perceptions of reality formed through our own experiences.

“Power does not exist by itself, nor is it self-generating. It is attached to a locus: that “and” I mentioned. It is power and race, power and gender, power and money, power and (undue) influence, power and sexuality, power and authority (real or imagined). And power is not one-sided. There is always someone on the receiving end. There is always someone who feels the full effect and weight of power.”

“The liberation of women, queers, femmes, and female-identified people is about more than negative liberty—it is about more than “freedom from.” It’s not just freedom from rape, freedom from abuse, freedom from fear. It is also “freedom to”—freedom to express desire, to explore pleasure, to seek intimacy and adventure.”

For a book about LBGT, I’m actually pretty disappointed at how much anti-trans language there is in here.

“Lesbians are attracted to vaginal”, “do you have a penis [then you’re a man.” It equates gender and sex when that is very much not true. Trans folks exist. Not all women have vaginas. Not all men have penises. And this can even be true for cis people!