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phineas gage mentioned!

this book is not really gay? i was told it would be gay.

holy shit this is good... deeply dissecting female "madness" vs possession and death/grief haunting. i am interested in the way this novel explores sisterhood and femininity and the carnal way we are drawn toward the undead and the macabre (also the dream space is used well here) will make a pairing list 4 this

i can not believe i went into this blind and went into my worst nightmare which is nearly married to stranger to lovers second chance romance i do not NEED THIS IN MY LIFE but this is my only access to sapphic christmas books on my book buying ban so i must persist (i do love that its musicians and small town)

what goddamn book was it!!! (spoilers ahead) you can't have a romantic tension be explored by one hot sapphic hockey player giving her coach (a book lover and reader) a book and NOT TELL US WHAT BOOK IT IS THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME lol

so cute so sweet so hot but also im still mad i dont have the same parts as them put me out of my misery dear hockey mlm romance gods

this book is magic

this is so good but its making me sad that im not a cis bisexual man and that i am single so i must take a break

i too think gay sex, therapy, a fulfilling relationship, friendship, and most importantly, a dog, would cure my depression

i just want to be a gay hockey player so bad but alas i sit here pretransition w a broken ankle

holy shit this is good

chapter 12. this one

"no one ever touched me without wanting to kill me"

that does rlly break me tho

"that's when i decided to do nothing about everything" yes girl we know w how u refuse to engage w politics or your own privilege or to call yourself a feminist.

like i'm supposed to feel bad for you that you feel lonely in your "private jet for one?"

some lines are nice but sometimes i think i just think so because of the aesthetic and the drama of it all. its not all bad tho

"There are things about me that you still don't know. Like sometimes I worry that my sadness is too big and you will have to help me handle it"

musically lovely at times claustrophobic and dizzying- content wise... not my favorite strange to be so divorced and critical from something i used to love so much. i really dont like this lol but form wise i would love to make something like this. content wise absolutely not it's difficult to engage with work that isn't radical in such radical times. i dont like the poems where she reduces a woman to being loved

im mad my update at 18 % when i said CHLOROFORM ?? AGAIN ?? didnt save so im writing it here

i want to give this book four stars when it deserves five because of how angry it made me

but also i feel like thats a testament to how emotive it is

also evil lesbian has recovered herself to be soft lesbian this does not do well to feed my delusions

theres only so far a reader will go for an evil cowboy masc lesbian !!!

chloroform??? again???? THIS BITCH IS PISSING ME OFF IM TIRED OF GIVING HER GRACE

damn this shit is dark and visceral - crazy vibes of motherhood / codependency / abuse

notes for class-

what does it mean for the mother to define "a stray" - when we don't have a home (home not as place but something in our hearts)

formal elements- how does the author convey disgust and violence on a prose level?

cycles of violence in girlhood / presumed innocence in childhood

engaged in acts of lesbianism so carnal that i am finally reading carmilla

this man is a brunette in my eyes idk what they say

what color are these man's goddamn eyes