David Quist > Recent Status Updates

3. Direct and assertive voice. Will cause problems and create pushback

The positive playful voice: should be default voice. Easy going, good natured person. Make sure you are relaxed and smiling

There are 3 voice tones available: late night FM DJ voice: used to make a point. (Inflect your voice downwards, keeping it calm and slow. When done properly, you create an aura of authority and trustworthiness without triggering defensiveness)

Make sure you out a smile on your face when you negotiate

Good communication/persuasion when you want to disagree without being disagreeable is the following:
1. Use the late night FM DJ voice 2. Start with I’m sorry 3. Mirror 4. Silence yourself for at least 4 seconds to allow mirror to work 5. Repeat

Mirroring is another way of persuading people. People like to do what others are doing so by repeating the last 3 words someone said you think you are alike and do more what the other person says

Whatever we radiate outwards will make the conversation flow. If you are upbeat and happy the conversation will be like that

Make sure that you do not make false assumptions or assumptions about things in general. Same reason smart ppl cannot negotiate it’s because they make assumptions and assume they are right and do not take in new information

People feel valued whenever they are listened to

Kahneman said that people have 2 systems in their head. One that is very reactive and instinctive and emotional. Second one that is logical deliberate and slow. System 1 reacts emotionally and system 2 is generated from that answer

Part of the issue is that mankind is not fully rational

Heart vs mind: Harvard negotiation problem came up with the following; the getting to hes where you one seperate the person and emotion two don’t get wrapped up in the other persons side to find out why they’re asking not what they’re asking, three work to create a win win opportunity and four establish mutually agreed standards

Old school negotiation is just to throw everything you have at them and pray they stop. That does not work as it forces people to do something they may not do, and loses your leverage over the situation

principle 9: make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

make people glad to do what u want. eg: make them happy about doing the thing you suggest by praising them and suggesting they are best for the job

principle 8: use encouragement to make the fault seem easy to correct

make faults seem easy to correct. human beings like tackling easy jobs and by making faults seem easy to correct they will muster enough motivation to be able to do it

principle 7: give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

by assuming someone has a virtue whether they do or dont, they will live up to that expectation because they want to be viewed and maintain the viewership of others as such

call peoples names by what you want them to be.

principle 6: praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. be hearty with your approbation and lavish your praise

charles dickens was working in a factory, his father was thrown into jail and submitted an editorial and received praise for it. once he did that he continued to further his works because of the praise he received

same praise happened to charles dickens

how to spur people onto success: praise even the slightest improvement

principle 5: let the other person save face when doing harm to them. make it easier to let them down and dont let them know its their fault if it is

principle 4: ask questions instead of giving direct orders

another way of telling people to do something is to make it favourable for them to do it with it seeming to be in their own interest. eg: someone parked in a no parking zone- tell them they have a nice car and have started cracking down and will tow your car if they see it here

no one likes to take orders: dont say do this or dont do that say what do u think of this and what do u think of that?

principle 3: talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

it isnt nearly as difficult to listen to a recital of your faults if the person criticizing begins by humbly admitting that he, too, is far from impeccable