belt > Recent Status Updates

does the main character have cancer ?

okay there is clearly some message about worse of two evils. being disconnected from reality and being destructive to feel something. some nihilistic stuff

is this written horny or am i crazy ?!

wait maybe this book is for me ! as an unreliable narrator who is incongruent in self image and ideal self.. well i just might like how this is written

in community college i took a course on greek myth. i watched fight club for the first time and somehow related it back to the class. like outloud. like i raised my hand to make a point about how ancient greek culture and mythology was just like fight club. and my prof said something like “but you know what the first rule of fight club is”
anyway i hate knowing the ending of this already but i think im enjoying

the highlighted line - this is your life, and its ending one minute at a time.

guys the copy i have of this book is comically fitting. it has zero cover art, sleeve, or even text (except on the stringy, taped-together spine - the title and library number are on there). it has mysterious red and black stains and i believe i saw a singular line highlighted in orange - my favorite color. one line ! i can’t wait !

is the end message letting people be exactly what they want, even if that is not their truth ? is it that being honest with yourself is about recognizing your a product ? anyway i really relate to the whole “i started over and just ended up back in the same cycle of lying to myself” thing. i relate to how it was broken. who you were isn’t who you are, and you have to move forward with who you are now.

this book handles trans identity well ! call me crazy ! most of the book is written from the main characters coincided pov, but it feels like the author intentionally added some things to this last chapter to thwart it reflecting transphobic narrative. like he clarifies it wasn’t someone forcing brandy into this identity, and that to be a woman isn’t to have certain surgeries, but to be one internally.

holy shit this book! when i was reading reviews and everyone said it was full of crazy reveals and page turning sequences i was nervous that it would be a cheap thrill type. but i honesty feel like it puts in the work. the reveals aren’t sloppy or just for gags, it seems like every one is intentional and hidden until just the right moment/metaphor.

this book is horror. the chapter i just read was back and forth gore and social/psychological horror like im scared. reminded me that i have bones and blood which i hate ! and also reminded me that im part of the system, man. was expecting nihilism but damn dude. this is not a feel good read !

okay i am not going to finish it tonight. but one of my favorite bits i forgot to mention earlier - “parents are like god in that we care so deeply what they think of us but only call them in a crisis”

BITCH ! the shock ! i was so close and so far away ! i may finish this book tonight it’s got me hooked.

shane is trans ? is that why our main character has such a draw to brandy?
i see the point being made about literally sitting in the dark rather than confronting your own mistakes/ignorance and pointing fingers outside while doing so, even the main character is doing so by refusing to take any accountability in her siblings death.

gasp ! i love the way this story is told !

oh i like this book !! but its making me fear i lack the ability to keep an entire story in mind and digest it as a whole. right now, i think its a story about fitting an image that you create with an influence from your surroundings? and how who you are is never obvious to yourself or others because there’s always a facade happening ?

“when you understand that what you’re telling is just a story. It isnt happening anymore. when you realize the story is just words, when you can crumble it up and throw your past in the trash, then we can figure out who you’re going to be” yeah needed that. i was worried that this book would be transphobic but so far it is actually handling that theme well.

i cannot and will not lie … ryan ross did bring me here. but the novelty (ha) of that is kinda running out and im still into it. this way its written is enjoyable. very sarcastic and meta but not quite full of itself, not in a way that takes me out of the story. and my god does the beginning suck you in !