Anika > Recent Status Updates

From the moment this book started I already felt like each page-each line was there to send me into a spiral. The events so far are so tame yet it truly feels like looking into a mirror that I can't help but let my mind wander off with my own thoughts and musings every few paragraphs.

as soon as i realized lesbians were involved i immediately locked in

right now it feels like a repetitive cycle of slight world building info, prayer, punishment. im not upset about this because i feel like that's what living within a religious order essentially is. devoting yourself to the same structure and practices daily without much attention being paid to the outside world.

These girls are so clearly a product of their environment that you can't really fault them for all of their ugly feelings of envy and superiority they have towards one another.

the words and events have been flying over my head the past few chapters but idk if thats a book problem or my attention span problem.

an excommunicated knight, a priest, and an orphan girl traveling across europe during the plague. i love unconventional found families.

so bizarre and unexplainable yet the author has such a way on how to vividly tell a story that i find myself reeling and reacting to every scene as if i were there myself.

I understand that the narrative is posing the question of peace vs violence in terms of revolution and that they are currently leaning towards violence but the violence doesn't really feel impactful. The back to back to back deaths feel like it's done as a form of shock factor? Or it's all happening so fast that there isn't really time to process and reflect. Maybe that's the point but it just feels rushed idk

I am so intrigued by the whole concept of this book. Academic grooming via colonial powers and what it truly means to be a cog in the machine that has no care for you and your people—only what assets you bring to the table. And while emotions and awareness have finally been established, I’m worried about the next half. I wonder how the author will handle the bringing down of this institution if even at all.

I finally understand what people mean when they say that R. F. Kuang likes to spoon feed her audience information. I enjoy it for the most part. I like the sheer amount of references and info dumps but other times I feel like I need to be fully wide awake to grasp at what's being said.

Relationships and bonds are changing so often that there's no time to get comfortable. Each scene puts me on the edge of my seat and I just get filled with emotions and opinions. The changing events feel unexpectedly expected.
I know that this is the natural order of how things are going to play out given the state of war + character personalities but it doesn't make it any easier to swallow when it does happen.

I've wanted to dislike Boxiang since the first book but for some reason I can't bring myself to-I would even say he's admirable at times. Despite being seen as weak and cowardly, I would say he's one of the bravest people in that city.

Ouyang’s dead situationship haunting the narrative for him in every page oh I pray for him…

"But how could you hurt someone who was nothing but pain?"
Ouyang is just a walking, unhinged ball of pain and revenge. Somewhere along the way my intrigue for him turned into care.

Seems like Zhu isn’t the only one who is set on grabbing fate by its hands and molding it to becoming something in their favor. I keep seeing it paralleled in a couple different characters. We see it in Ouyang and I really hope we see it in Ma too.

Zhu experiences gender dysphoria in such a way that is unique yet still 100% authoritative. While it is a performance, I love seeing the feelings of emotional distress and violent rejection Zhu has to womanhood. And despite the rejection, they still empathize with the struggles of what it means to be a woman because that was him too once. At what point does this stop being a disguise and start being Zhu’s reality?