Josie > Recent Status Updates

It hits her, as she stands there in the sick realization, that there’s something worse than finding your best friend’s body.

And that’s never finding it.

She spots him by the drinks table, his vape dangling from his lips. Her heart knocks against her rib cage like she’s a girl beholding her first love.

But it’s better than that: she’s a girl closing in on her worst enemy.

When you realize the danger at the start, you can fight back. When you realize it in the middle, you’re screwed.

The sharp smell of urine filled the air. Oh, for fuck’s sake. That was a custom-made leather chair.

only a psychotic billionaire would say his SECRET TORTURE AND DEATH ROOM "didn't contain anything except basic office furniture" and then go on to complain about vintage mahogany and custom-made leather chairs being ruined while he is STABBING AND KILLING PEOPLE

An inhuman howl ripped through the room while I frowned at the blood pooling on the vintage mahogany. Perhaps I should’ve done this on a less expensive surface, but alas, it was too late.

the more i read, the more i feel like i'm descending into madness

Darkness was always drawn to light, but I wasn’t just drawn to her; I was fucking obsessed. I would throw myself into her flame and let it burn me alive if it meant her warmth was the last thing I felt before I died.

r u ok hun

Nothing cleansed the soul like a good cyber rampage.

lol

I waited until the door shut behind them before I activated the device. I couldn’t hear the footage, but I could hear the boom in my head as his car exploded into flames.

dude just planted a car bomb, what is even going on right now

His eyes, however, were anything but soft. They were blades swathed with black silk, their edges so cold they burned hot against my skin.

what does this even MEAN

Black had always been my favorite color. Silent. Deadly. Impenetrable. I felt at home in it, like shadows merging with the inky wells of night.

cheer up, emo kid

I broke what must have been a thousand traffic laws, but I made it to the airport in thirty-five minutes.

are you SERIOUSLY TELLING ME the ceo of america's largest real estate company doesn't have a private helicopter at his disposal??? WHAT KIND OF BILLIONAIRE ROMANCE HERO EVEN ARE YOU, SIR

Besides, everyone knew I was the power behind the throne, anyway.

that casual "besides" is slaying me

“It’s you,” he says quietly, his smile soft and his eyes softer. “The magic is you.”

🎶 THE MIRACLE IS NOT SOME MAGIC THAT YOU'VE GOT THE MIRACLE IS YOUUUU 🎶

It's going to be tricky to keep all of this straight. The book will need a family tree up front, with dates, for easy reference.

ironically i was JUST THINKING i needed a family tree, because i've already forgotten who is who and which generation they're from. the struggle is real.

I'll tell her [the truth] after dinner and the movie. No sense in ruining the entire night.

so noble 🫠

I need to at least go make sure she got home okay. I'll just stand outside her window – again – and check. Real quick.

seems like a lot of effort when you can just check the nanny cam you secretly installed in her bedroom... 🙃

is it physically possible for characters in romance novels to say "nope" WITHOUT popping the p?

"If you recall, I have a suitcase of sex things we haven't even touched."

have you heard of chekhov's vibrator

'Why am I in so much debt from student loans?'

this is a real good fucking question, laura, because YOU LIVE IN THE UK, DEBT FROM STUDENT LOANS IS NOT A THING

'I'd like to pay off my student debts before I'm drawing my pension.'

that faint sound you hear in the distance is martin lewis screaming IT'S NOT DEBT, IT'S A TAX ON LEARNING

'Do feel free to stop talking,' he cut in.
'Do feel free to put some clothes on,' I replied.

it's only chapter 2 and i am already CACKLING

Julian’s voice went deceptively soft. “I can make the Jockey Club reply to you.”

“Yes, you can.” Anna’s hand cupped his face. “But I can’t. That’s exactly my point.”

see this is a really good moment but it's buried in all the irritating nonsense

Something on the pillow caught the Dowager’s attention and she held it up to examine it more closely. “For heaven’s sake, Charlotte! Why must you keep embroidering ants everywhere?”

charlotte is also fucking nuts and i love her

“Mostly I dress to please myself, but sometimes I dress to squash my enemies,” said Charlotte.

charlotte is the mvp in this book

Anna smoothed her skirt and gave a cry of delight. “Never say I have pockets!?!”

YOU HAVE A RETICULE. YOU DON'T NEED POCKETS. also pockets have only JUST gone out of fashion because they ruin the silhouette of a regency gown so i HIGHLY DOUBT a swanky modiste is going to say "fuck fashion, i'm putting pockets in anyway because two centuries from now this will be considered feminist af"

“I don’t want a haircut!” Anna cried.

She wasn’t a bit surprised when the women ignored her objection and thrust her down into a chair in the middle of the room.

this is disturbing, can we please give the FMC more agency and maybe... not cut her hair off...? okay no they're going ahead anyway cool cool

Anna gasped. “As in one of the moons of Pluto?”

as in the moon that wasn't discovered until 1978...? 🤨

Charlotte sat on the stairs to the back terrace, stitching a design of crossed sabers and severed heads.

as you do

“Marry me!” he commanded with a hard shake.

“Oh, all right!” she cried, and he swooped down and shredded her up all over again.

shredded??? also i know this is supposed to be borderline ridiculous but the excess of exclamation marks is starting to grate...

Once again she was flooded with the scent of clean linen and... was that peat?

i do love a romance that gently pokes fun at clichés