Josie > Recent Status Updates

It's going to be tricky to keep all of this straight. The book will need a family tree up front, with dates, for easy reference.

ironically i was JUST THINKING i needed a family tree, because i've already forgotten who is who and which generation they're from. the struggle is real.

I'll tell her [the truth] after dinner and the movie. No sense in ruining the entire night.

so noble 🫠

I need to at least go make sure she got home okay. I'll just stand outside her window – again – and check. Real quick.

seems like a lot of effort when you can just check the nanny cam you secretly installed in her bedroom... 🙃

is it physically possible for characters in romance novels to say "nope" WITHOUT popping the p?

"If you recall, I have a suitcase of sex things we haven't even touched."

have you heard of chekhov's vibrator

'Why am I in so much debt from student loans?'

this is a real good fucking question, laura, because YOU LIVE IN THE UK, DEBT FROM STUDENT LOANS IS NOT A THING

'I'd like to pay off my student debts before I'm drawing my pension.'

that faint sound you hear in the distance is martin lewis screaming IT'S NOT DEBT, IT'S A TAX ON LEARNING

'Do feel free to stop talking,' he cut in.
'Do feel free to put some clothes on,' I replied.

it's only chapter 2 and i am already CACKLING

Julian’s voice went deceptively soft. “I can make the Jockey Club reply to you.”

“Yes, you can.” Anna’s hand cupped his face. “But I can’t. That’s exactly my point.”

see this is a really good moment but it's buried in all the irritating nonsense

Something on the pillow caught the Dowager’s attention and she held it up to examine it more closely. “For heaven’s sake, Charlotte! Why must you keep embroidering ants everywhere?”

charlotte is also fucking nuts and i love her

“Mostly I dress to please myself, but sometimes I dress to squash my enemies,” said Charlotte.

charlotte is the mvp in this book

Anna smoothed her skirt and gave a cry of delight. “Never say I have pockets!?!”

YOU HAVE A RETICULE. YOU DON'T NEED POCKETS. also pockets have only JUST gone out of fashion because they ruin the silhouette of a regency gown so i HIGHLY DOUBT a swanky modiste is going to say "fuck fashion, i'm putting pockets in anyway because two centuries from now this will be considered feminist af"

“I don’t want a haircut!” Anna cried.

She wasn’t a bit surprised when the women ignored her objection and thrust her down into a chair in the middle of the room.

this is disturbing, can we please give the FMC more agency and maybe... not cut her hair off...? okay no they're going ahead anyway cool cool

Anna gasped. “As in one of the moons of Pluto?”

as in the moon that wasn't discovered until 1978...? 🤨

Charlotte sat on the stairs to the back terrace, stitching a design of crossed sabers and severed heads.

as you do

“Marry me!” he commanded with a hard shake.

“Oh, all right!” she cried, and he swooped down and shredded her up all over again.

shredded??? also i know this is supposed to be borderline ridiculous but the excess of exclamation marks is starting to grate...

Once again she was flooded with the scent of clean linen and... was that peat?

i do love a romance that gently pokes fun at clichés

"Is this going to get me laid?" one girl asked.

Piper grabbed the girl's face and stared into her soul. "Yes."

okay but drunk piper giving fashion/makeup/confidence tips is the best???

"We could pull this board down, but we're either going to end up with splinters or a herd of spiders is going to ride out on the backs of mice, holding pitchforks."

a valid concern 🕷️🐁

It looks like a stormglow panel, flat and matte grey. Yet when Niko presses the side, it lights up. Four coloured squares float across the surface.

this truly is a dystopian future if the only tech that survived is Windows

"What was the plan, exactly? You were going to meet her first, and me right after? Or go back and forth between the houses like Hannah fucking Montana pretending to be in two places at once?"

I JUST CHOKED

A glance around the room shows that housekeeping has been here. The bed is turned down, the gauzy curtains drawn. More importantly, the cookie jar has been refilled.

anna is a woman after my own heart

Consumerism demands we remain unsatisfied with our appearance. If we all liked ourselves, dozens of industries would crumble like Babylon. We have to want a solution to whatever or however many problems plague us in order to keep those factories running. To keep money in men's pockets.

win is my spirit animal

“Of course he couldn’t handle someone like you. You’re a majestic thoroughbred, and he’s one of those sad, tired horses they make the tourists ride on beach resorts.”

I snort. “I think this might be the second time you’ve compared me to a horse.”

He nuzzles my neck. “Yeah, but, like, a really hot horse.”

A REALLY HOT HORSE

Isaac’s arms are stretched wide as he addresses the onlookers. Man has the wingspan of a jetliner. “Citizens of Greek Row!” he shouts like a Roman gladiator. “I enlist your help!”

There’s a beat of silence, and then someone from the direction of the Sigma Nu house hollers, “Jesus fucking Christ, just go out with him and make this stop.”

i'm screaming omg

“You need to hold it,” Liz said. “Don’t just let it hang there by itself all lonely.”

SCREAMING

“I know it hurts,” I said. “But just think, now you’ll know what it feels like for a man with a cold.”

i shouldn't laugh, but alexis's bedside manner is A+

Her eyes were wide. “I’d follow a clown into a storm drain if he had a baby goat in pajamas.”

idek why the goat is wearing pyjamas but this line is everything

She scoffed. “Yeah, well, we’re all strong-ass women until a smoke alarm starts chirping at three a.m. on a high ceiling and there’s no one to hit it with a broom but you.”

this made me laugh so hard because the other night my smoke alarm started peeping at 11pm and i was like "..........fuck it, i think i can probably sleep through this."

The guy makes millions as one of the best hockey players in the world but isn’t too proud to clean his elderly neighbor’s windows.

🥹