Heidi > Recent Status Updates

okay wtf is up with this pharmaceutical shit

an anonymous tip that you euthanized paul???? LMAOOO girl what

misrepresentation you say??? girl they are gonna get you

HELL YEAH let's go let's get into the insurance fraud

okay this skip guys sister is dating the husband of the golden couple and his sister is the girl who works at the boutique with the wife of the golden couple

everything this avery girl says is a lie

okay he sent those flowers right.. the husband

GIRL they're talking to the aunt bc they think you're a FRAUD are you dumb

if there's a third act breakup I swear to god

i think i called this twist??

"you look like george bush on 9/11 when he was interrupted reading my pet goat" was a CRAZY pull but i kinda loved it

the roaring forties 😜😝🤪

not a single woman on this whole boat... no wonder they crashed

dookie ass ending man should've had maryann get hit by a bus

and we end with a trip to paris? with oliver?

get oliver out of my fucking face man

"sam does some modeling" like okay what the hell sure

i'm losing my mind this french guy is so insane why is he here

i think i'm like accidentally reading a rough draft this cannot be the final version that got published

"She throws herself down on her big Albany Park pit couch."
is this book like sponsored

the way they keep going to bars and hanging out at bars while her brother (allegedly her favorite person in the world) is actively in recovery for being an alcoholic and literally just relapsed

this plot feels like the author just pulled things out of a hat or did a mad libs
they visit uhhh their dads uhh gay uhh french uhh boyfriend/mistress... who majored in uhh poetry and uhhh lives in new orleans

okay so she's got these "best friends" back in london but she's never once texted them this whole time or checked in with them ???

not the mistress actually being a french gay man...

lowkey on oliver's side about them fucking in the bathroom

i'm peeing laughing at sam just being like "I'll move to london" just no questions no logistics no job nothing. isnt he like 30?? shouldnt he know better?

"It’s not to belittle me but to affirm me. I have hot-girl hair. I know I do. Boys love it; girls hate it."
????? the author actually wrote this???

"Her eyes flick up and down the little black Stern mini dress from Staud I’m wearing"

"Before, I was wearing a black camisole from Cami NYC, but now I change into some jersey pajamas from Eberjey—which is what I actually sleep in, because they’re so comfortable, it’s a joke."
???? what the fuck???