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I can’t read anything about attachment theory without crying, this book is so simple not academic, not as typical self-help books.

“Indeed, most of my deeply held beliefs about therapy, and my areas of keenest psychological interest, have arisen from personal experience. Nietzsche claimed that a philosopher’s system of thought always arises from his autobiography, and I believe that to be true for all therapists—in fact, for anyone who thinks about thought.”

Excellent so far

“There is a continuing decision to be made as to whether to evade pain, or to tolerate it and therefore modify it.”

“Your feelings don’t have to mesh with what you think they should be,” he explained. “They’ll be there regardless, so you might as well welcome them because they hold important clues.”

“There’s a difference between pain and suffering,” Wendell says. “You’re going to have to feel pain—everyone feels pain at times—but you don’t have to suffer so much. You’re not choosing the pain, but you’re choosing the suffering.”

“Therapists have to be interpreters of these blurry snapshots, aware that patients need to be fuzzy to some extent, because those first snapshots help to gloss over painful feelings that might be invading their peaceful inner territory. In time, they find out that they aren’t at war after all, that the path to peace is to call a truce with themselves.”

“People don’t always remember events or conversations clearly, but they do remember with great accuracy how an experience made them feel.

“There’s a popular saying, a paraphrase of a Robert Frost poem: “The only way out is through.” The only way to get to the other side of the tunnel is to go through it, not around it. But I can’t even picture the entrance right now.”